Bride’s Brother Orders $150 Worth of Drinks at Expenses-Paid Pre-Wedding Party, Is Shocked When She Asks Him To Pay His Share

JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor

Oct 19, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

When someone offers to buy you a drink, is it wrong to pick the most expensive one on the menu?

Hospitality can be a tricky thing. There are so many unwritten rules that go into this stuff that it can be hard to keep track of, especially if you're not a person who's great at picking up on social cues. Sometimes people say things that they don't really mean, and you have to read between the lines of that. This often leads us into sticky situations where there is a misunderstanding that could've been avoided with clear communication. That's what was happening here at this wedding party. Weddings are famously expensive affairs. And drinks are no small part of that. If a couple is offering an open bar, that's probably coming out a great expense to them. And if you're ordering à la carte, things can get even crazier. The person in the story wondered if they were in the wrong for taking full advantage of that.

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A man sits at a counter enjoying a beverage
Sometimes you accidentally uncover a sore spot in a relationship without meaning to. Something came up that revealed a rift between two people, and now it's out in the open. That's what happened to the couple in this story, who clearly had a miscommunication about what they were going to spend and what they weren't going to spend. The sibling in the middle got caught in between these two differing opinions. But it was unclear who was in the right about this stuff. When somebody offers to buy you something, it's usually common courtesy not to pick something. That's too expensive. At least in my culture. If somebody else is buying dinner and tells you to order whatever you want, you shouldn't hold back, but you also shouldn't splash out too hard. You don't want to be the one who spends the most money just because somebody told you you could. But is it different if it's family?
The groom in the story clearly told the bride's sibling that they could order whatever they wanted. So the sibling took that and ran with it. And when everybody got the bill, things got a little bit shocking. Sticker shock is real, and somebody has to pay for it at the end of the day. Everyone was wondering whether or not it was right to order something so expensive, and who should end up paying for it in the end. But the question remains: would you order an insanely expensive drink when somebody else was covering the tab? To me, it probably depends on who it was. In this situation, though, things were a little unclear. It was probably a situation that would have been best avoided. But that's not what happened. Keep reading to see what others had to say about it.
Am I in the wrong for ordering a $70 drink at my sisters pre-wedding party?
^-^u/raffsrulz
Context: My sister whom presumes to live a lavish life had a destination pre-wedding party for family and friends alike. In the invite they specified that they would cover all expenses for the invitees.
When I arrived, I was approached by the Groom stating he knew that I liked Whiskey and that it wasn't originally covered on their open bar tab, but to, and I quote: "ask for anything you want bro, I got you. Heck, get a bottle for yourself and your friends if you like"
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via Dylan de Jonge

A person pours whiskey into two glasses
I denied the bottle offering and chose to only ask for a couple drinks (2 doubles).
My mistake that I fully own is that I did not ask for the pricing of the drink menu items offered (I was shown a menu with no prices, that kind of place).
Several days later, my sister asks me to pay the tab for the drinks I had as it came out that each drink cost $150 a pop.
I have since paid my share (3/4s of my tab) but now wonder if I was in the wrong here.
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via JP

A person pours amber liquid into a small glass
RagingFrodo
NTA technically but I still think you might have been in the wrong.
I think it depends a lot on the culture. In Australia and UK (I think US would be quite different) a host will generally try to be kind and offer for you to get what you want, but generally you would be polite and order something that is within a normal price. If you wouldn’t pay for it yourself because it’s too expensive, then it’s a bit cheeky to order it because someone else is paying.
It’s very uncomfortable to tell someone a budget so this is unspoken etiquette and kind of common sense where I’m from.
Also as a family member you should have an idea of what is reasonable and within budget for your sister and brother in law. ‘help yourself and order what you like’ is grey area and it’s up to you to interpret what that means depending if they’re very wealthy or a young working class family.
If you know that expensive whiskey would be a lot of money for them I don’t think you should have taken what your brother in law said so literally.
Bearbearblues
The US is no different from what you are describing.
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A man holds out a glass at a bar counter
L-Capitan1
YTA, you seemed to intentionally order more expensive drinks than you normally order. That’s ***e and in poor taste. Just because someone else is gracious enough to pay doesn’t mean it’s an invitation to go crazy. Them being rich doesn’t change that.
What would potentially change it was if the groom said I love this pappy van winkle 15 year come let’s have one together. That would be acceptable. It’s important to be a kind guest, I suspect you’re young and so I’ll give you some grace. But hosting a big event like that is very expensive and they intentionally did something nice for you by having whiskey on their included list, be thoughtful back.
nic-miller
ESH. Your BIL should not have spoken so broadly. And I’m sure you had some inkling of the level of whiskey you were getting, plus the gracious thing would have been to say thanks for the offer, but I’ll stick to what you guys planned for everyone.
HappyHavoc20
I wouldn’t have paid. $300 for two doubles? They’re crazy for taking normal people to a place likes this