Mother wants to cut ties between her son and her 8-year-old nephew after he proved to be a bad influence and even stole money from him: 'I am actively trying to figure out how to get rid of my nephew from my son'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Oct 20, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

Just because they are family doesn't mean they are entitled to do anything. To steal is to steal, no matter who is doing it. 

Maybe your son is a sweet kid who sees the good in everyone, but that doesn't mean that everyone is a good person. I do believe that it is hard and something that shouldn't be done to condemn an 8-year-old kid as a bad kid or a bad influence. He is a kid; he does not influence others because he hasn't even developed a personality yet. But if a kid is showing signs of not being very kind, then probably their parents aren't doing a good job, or at least they aren't paying the kid enough attention. An 8-year-old kid who steals money from his cousin is most likely screaming for attention from his parents. That is way more common than a kid being a bad person. I'm not a child psychologist or anything, so I could definitely be wrong with my calling. But I do believe that this is not a bad kid, but just a kid who is looking for some attention. 

In this case, I do think that it is best to get the son away from his cousin. This cousin isn't treating the other kid with respect and is causing distress to him and his family. So, it would be best to separate them to deal with this situation and to avoid the cousin taking more advantage of the son. It seems like a case of idealization of the son towards the cousin. The kid sees him as his only friend and with respect and admiration. The cousin most probably knows this; that's why he takes advantage of the other kid. He sees him as a way to get things done and to get things, not as a genuine friend. This is not a healthy dynamic in general, but with children it should be fully avoided. It's not okay to let them act this way. The mother already tried talking with the other parents, and after getting nowhere, I think she should take the matter into her own hands. 

If I were in her situation, the first thing I would do is talk to the son. He needs to understand why you would be doing what you are doing, to avoid any kind of future resentment. The kid is not dumb, just young, so explaining why this situation is wrong seems like the best way to act. After that, I would talk with the parents of the other child and demand that they give back the money; it is not for the money directly, but more because of the principle. And lastly, I would not invite the kid anymore. I would also try to get help from a psychologist or the school to help the son get better at socializing so he gets to make new friends who aren't using him. In the end, I would hope for the other kid to resolve his issues, and for his parents to help him out. 

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  • My son is 8 years old and my nephew is 8 years old. They have been close since birth. Me and my brother do NOT speak and haven't for years now. He isn't a very nice person to me or my mother. But by MY doing I make sure my son and his cousin have a relationship. With no help or effort from my brother and his wife, I do everything. I'm very respectful and so is my
    via WhatTheSigma_1994
  • A mother and a child together at a therapy session. Recreated scenario included to enhance reader understanding.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    A mother and a child together at a therapy session. 

    Recreated scenario included to enhance reader understanding.   

  • son. Anytime me and the kids are going to have fun (jumping, carnival, amusement park, park, games, birthday parties etc.) my son always asks for his cousin to join, I ALWAYS initiate and go pick up my nephew, I sometimes even pay for his entertainment (there have been times my brother sends him with money which is helpful) but since I invite him, it's on me to provide his transportation and food no doubt, and I'm okay with that.
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  • I'm a very active mother and I take my children to do some activity of some sort at least once every couple weeks. So I have my nephew often. Also, my son has his own phone and sometimes will ask while on the phone with my nephew if he can come over and without even speaking to me, my brother will just drop my nephew off at my house... I don't care but it's the point I guess.... Anyways, recently I've had to sit
    via WhatTheSigma_1994
  • my son down about some things I've noticed about my nephew and this dynamic we have. Mostly because my son notices that my WE do everything, but my son is never asked in return. My brother/nephew has NEVER invited my son anywhere, never allows him to stay the night, never takes him anywhere, he's not even allowed to come over BUT we do everything for my nephew. Also, my nephew doesn't come over if he doesn't get his
    via WhatTheSigma_1994
  • way about certain things... for example. My son has to get off the video game at 9 pm sharp every night and my nephew told my son that he "doesn't understand how parents think they can just tell kids what to do and expect them to have to do it" This really sat in a month ago when it was my nephews birthday and my son begged him to ask his parents if he could come. They agreed because it was at his
    via WhatTheSigma_1994
  • grandmothers house, I took my son and dropped him off to play and enjoy the party. I went to Walmart and spent 40$ on my nephews gift and brought it back by because my son was so excited to give it to him. A week later was my youngest sons birthday and my nephew was invited by my son and my nephew said "I don't like your moms friends kids so if they are there I won't come" my son was
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  • so sad... but accepted it. Then my nephew told him "tell your mom to stop inviting those kids and maybe we can hang out" so then my son gets upset with me because he doesn't understand... they didn't sent a gift or anything, just ignored it completely and then she texted me saying "sorry he has a fever" which was a lie because I HEARD what my nephew said on the phone about why he wouldn't come lol. then after that, my son asked if my
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  • nephew would want to come to holiday world with us the next day and my nephew says "sorry my friend is staying the night and my mom made fun plans with us to do" and hung up on my son... Then the situation that took the cake! My nephew came over and they were all playing. My sons dad told our son if he cleaned his room and finished his chores he could get Roblox bucks so my son did everything asked. My
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  • nephew kept asking my son when he was getting them, which I thought was odd but kids are odd anyways, you know? Then my nephew went home, called my son and asked my son had he got them yet. My son said he was about to, so I assumed they were planning something on this game together. Dad gets home, puts money on the game. And 5 minutes later I hear the loudest scream and cries
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  • from my son. I run to his room and he says "(nephews name) stole ALL MY MONEY" I asked how and he said my nephew told him to send him his money so he could show his this cool tool and then send it back. My son didn't know better and did and then once my nephew received the money he hung up on my son and blocked his number... I instantly called my SIL and she told me she didn't know anything
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  • about it and my nephew was crying because my SON gave him all his money on the game and he didn't even want it to begin with? I said "no that not right, he told my son to do it and then took it" and she said "well sorry they should know better than to be doing this but your son gave it to him" and just didn't say anything else. I was floored but chose to look past it because my son loves him.
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  • But am I over reacting of how they handle these situations? Like my son feels like he is heavily outcasted and I feel he is too. It hurts cause he has NO OTHER FRIENDS. But I am actively trying to figure out how to get rid of my nephew from my sons life. I don't want to hurt my son but I don't know what else to do
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  • The silhouette of a 4-member family. Image for illustrative purposes.
    via Jochen van Wylick

    The silhouette of a 4-member family. 

    Image for illustrative purposes. 

  • ilikefoxess keep your nephew away from your son, he is not a good influence and for his age is already extremely manipulative. yta if you keep him there. if your son has any interest in any sports or hobbies, find local groups he can try. the nephew/sil/brother dont even put any effort to being around your son, you're hanging onto a de d horse and it will just hurt your son more and more. block him off your sons phone, teach your son in a kid friendly matter about having friends
    via ilikefoxess
  • that treat you with respect both ways. hope you can get his money back.
    via ilikefoxess
  • Incognitomode1973 Your nephew is an a_h_le being raised by Stop fostering this relationship.
    via Incognitomode1973
  • Competitive-Eye-1342 Tell you son his cousin is not a nice boy and you will not be exposing him to him any more. NTA obviously but you're out the money. Never speak to those people again. Your son will be sad but it's for the best long term, he could pick up on that snot's habits
    via Competitive-Eye-1342

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entitled parents family feud raising kids theft nephew
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