HR makes employees write thank you cards for coworkers about to be fired: 'They made us participate in firing our own coworkers without even telling us'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 4, 2026 12:30 PM EST

There is no perfect way to let someone go, but there are a bunch of horrible ways to do it. 

When you've been at a job for some time, you probably have some expectations about how you'd like to leave. Ideally, you'd do it on your own terms and sail off to a better job where you make more money. This isn't always the way it goes, though. Sometimes it's against your will, and there's not a lot you can do about it. But there are ways that you can soften the blow. The best way to do this is monetarily, of course. If you are in a position to give a good severance package, that can smooth over a lot of bad feelings, no matter what direction they're coming from. But if you're not able to do that, maybe there are ways you can make them feel good on their way out; that way there are no bad feelings in either direction. However, it's easy to go wrong when doing this kind of thing. That's what happened here in this workplace. A group of employees was asked to write letters thanking their coworkers for their service. What they didn't know, though, was what was going to happen next. 

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  • A man carries his belongings out of the office after being let go
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Recreated scenario included to enhance reader understanding.  


    A man carries his belongings out of the office after being let go

  • HR made us write thank you notes for coworkers they were about to fire.

    Last Thursday HR emailed our department asking everyone to write a few sentences about two senior employees and what they'd contributed to the company. Said it was for some employee recognition thing.
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • One of them trained me when I first started so I wrote a pretty heartfelt message. Guy's been here 11 years. Monday morning both of them got laid off.
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • Turns out HR printed our messages and included them with their exit paperwork because management thought it would help "soften the transition." The coworker who trained me actually texted asking if we all knew beforehand. He thought we'd been told and were basically writing goodbye letters.
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • Nobody knew a thing. I can't stop thinking about how they made us participate in firing our own coworkers without even telling us. Who comes up with this stuff?
    via u/BowlerGlum2227

  • It's always awkward when someone is leaving a job, and you're staying. Maybe you want to wish them well on their way out, but you don't want to make them feel bad about it, especially if leaving wasn't their choice. When you get let go, not a lot can make you feel better about it. Maybe some nice words of encouragement from your coworkers would feel pretty good, but you don't want to feel condescended to, or like everyone knew your days were numbered except for you. Having the wool pulled over your eyes is never a good feeling, especially in the workplace. Deception is always awkward, especially when it's with the people you've known for a long time. That's what was happening here, in this awkward story about HR overextending their reach. Dealing with human resources can be a struggle, no matter who you are and what job you're working. They're supposed to be looking out for you, but their ultimate allegiance is to the company. When these interests get crossed, things can get more than a little bit hairy. People want to be treated with respect, and nobody wants to be put between a rock and a hard place. Sometimes that's inevitable in the world of employment, but sometimes it's not. This story seemed pretty avoidable if everyone was a little less concerned about saving face, and a little more concerned with protecting the feelings of their coworkers. Keep reading to see what happened here.

  • Commenters agreed that this was a pretty wild thing to ask of someone.

    jshmoe866 That is the usual insane psychological manipulation I would expect from hr
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • Successful_Cost_6997 I worked on a floor that had a full editing team and a card went around during lunch on a Friday, stating that we will miss him and wish him well, he was out to lunch. I asked someone what was going on and an
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • A man carries his belongings out of the office
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.


    A man carries his belongings out of the office

  • editor said, "He's being let go at end of day." I didn't sign the card, it was in such poor taste to have everyone but him knowing he was being let go and to fr king. sign a card about it. I took a week of personal time to get away from the toxic stupidity of that boss and her team. Boss was forced into retirement 6 months later. Serves her right and I did sign that card, "Bye bye."
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • ThanosSnapsSlimJims This is why workers should always be told that HR isn't their friend. They don't seem to have humanity, and are willing to do horrible things to other coworkers.
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • c1z9c8z8 Wow, that is insane! There are some very messed up people working in HR. It's like they read a book on how to have empathy but since they don't actually have any, their phony display of empathy made them look even worse than if they hadn't done anything.
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • There are so many ways to do something like this that don't involve lying and manipulation. Whoever came up with this is probably a pathological narcissist.
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • Klutzy-Football-205 This is the first time I've ever read one of these posts and thought "G_d D n, that's just diabolical*!*"
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • beegboo Now every time they ask you to write anything including birthday cards you'll have to ask is this for firing someone? Do i get paid extra for doing upper management work? Then end every request they give you with i hope HR doesnt use this to fire you.
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • Have another place lined up before doing this. You'll probably get in trouble but with HR that slimey I wouldnt want to stick around.
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • Holaadios007 As someone in HR, I like to say nothing surprises me anymore. This is definitely appalling though.
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • NoApartheidOnMars The proper answer is "my job isn't to help management feel better about the sociopathic decisions they make". If they force you to write something, include some advice about talking to an employment attorney
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • Bird Bruce What was the decibel level reading in your office when you screamed "WHAT THE F ?!" at your HR department?
    via u/BowlerGlum2227
  • foo-foo-jin Now this is how you create a hostile work environment.
    via u/BowlerGlum2227

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boss fired hr coworkers laid off human resources Horrible Bosses entitled coworker bad bosses
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