Baker says a customer's complaint in a local "Mommy" Facebook group about a clearly outlined cake redesign fee has negatively affected business and caused orders to drop off

This baker says a parent's request to change a cake to meet her young son's shifting obsession led to a growing business issue.

The baker, who runs a small made-to-order cake business as a small side gig from their home, says a repeat customer contacted them wanting to change the entire design of the cake a week and a half before pickup. 

For the baker, the cake business runs around a day job but is an important part of their income, and the earnings from this side-hustle pay a meaningful share of the household bills.

A solid amount of their business comes from word of mouth, namely this “mommy” local Facebook group. The baker described the way this worked in their post.

Almost all of my orders come from people mentioning me in our town’s mom group on Facebook. A few thousand people in there. That group is basically my whole customer list. If you run anything small and local, you know exactly what I mean.

Source: 06yuzuha-Reddit

The baker states they try to be very clear and fair, but firm, with their terms of service, allowing customers to make changes but only up until the 2-week mark before pickup. In their own words:

My terms go out with every order. Half up front to hold the date, design changes are fine up until two weeks before pickup, and after that I can’t promise anything and it might cost more

This customer was a repeat client and had ordered “a few times before” with no issues coming up during the process. But the customer returned with a new order, this time for her young son's birthday. Originally she had ordered a space-themed cake, with a rocketship and stars.

I sent the design over and she changed the colors, then changed what it said on top. Both of those were well before the two week mark and I didn’t say a word about either one.

The baker says they allowed these changes to go through since they were before the two-week mark, though reading into their wording of “I didn't say a word about either one” possibly gives cues into the fact that they weren't stoked about having to make the changes.

But, once the 2-week mark had passed, the customer reached out again, this time wanting to change the entire design of the cake to suit her son's shifting interests. Space and rocket ships were out; dinosaurs were now in. According to the baker, the request went something like this:

“Sorry to ask, but he’s saying dinosaurs now. Is there any way we could still switch it?”

Is what the baker says the customer asked. A short and simple request with major time investments on the baker's part, which basically would have amounted to starting over from scratch. I don't know about you, but as far as I'm aware, dinosaurs and space don't really share all that much in common. Well, except for the whole meteor thing.

The baker gave their train of thought on having to redo the entire process:

That’s me redrawing the whole thing and going back through all the details again, and I already had that weekend blocked out. I told her I could do it, but it’d cost more, and I sent her the terms again. 

The baker offered to make the design change for an additional fee, but the customer said that it was ok and kept the original design. 

She picked [the cake] up, paid, didn’t say anything about it.

She took the cake, and that would have been the end of it… Until the customer made a social media post in the local “mommy” Facebook group that she had been charged extra for her order.

A few days later she put up a post in the group. Long one. The gist was that she ordered a cake from me and got charged extra because her kid changed his mind, and that she’d always thought we were friends. She tagged two people in it. Both of them she’d sent to me herself.

The baker left a comment on the post, outlining the fact that their two-week design change cutoff was a term-of-service that had been agreed upon when the order was taken and an expectation that was clearly set... The customer was not thrilled with having the reality of the situation called out.

She replied that I was embarrassing her in public.

Orders have dropped off since. Two people who were about to book asked me if what she posted was true. I explained it. Neither one ever brought it up again.

When the baker privately asked for its removal, the customer reportedly replied:

“We’ve known each other how long? And you’re going to charge me for this?”

The baker now feels that they are running out of options for restoring their public reputation, so they have turned to this online community to see what they should do. In the spirit of the online community, they gave the following two options, “A” or “B,” for readers to select and vote on. 

These are the options they suggested for the route they should take:

A: I shouldn’t have commented under it. She was upset and I put my terms in front of a few thousand people, which to anyone reading it just looks like me lecturing a longtime customer about a rule. I could’ve just messaged her, or let it go.

B: I didn’t do anything wrong. Those terms went out with her order and she said got it. She wasn’t raising a problem with the cake. She took my name into the one group every customer I have is sitting in.

Everyone who has spent a good chunk of time around kids, particularly around toddler age, knows that they tend to get obsessed with one thing. Life might be all about fire trucks one minute, and the next they're on to trains or some other random personality-defining obsession. They also can be particularly willful and stubborn about things being a specific way (their way) and get upset when others don't acquiesce.

As always in these instances, it stands to reason that it's sound advice to set clear expectations with the kids, a nice and clear decision on the particular thing they're being stubborn about. Then, as a parent, you need to know when it's time to be firm about sticking to that expectation, and when it's ok to make a concession.

But kids aren't the only people who are emotionally tyrannical and stubborn. Adults too can be just as guilty of twisting narratives to suit their feelings when things don't go their way… 

Customers, especially, are adults who can be very toddler-like. So, the same advice for dealing with toddlers' wishes and demands holds true here as well. There is a reason why the first lesson you learn in retail is managing customer expectations. 

The first step in preventing customer dissatisfaction and complaints is to set clear expectations from the outset. This is an area where our baker has done well here. 

But no matter how clear your expectations are, and how realistic the set timeframes are, something is going to go wrong. Maybe you don't deliver on a promise or within the agreed-upon timeline; maybe a customer is just impatient and wants to change the terms. Maybe it's an issue on the supplier's end or with internal dispatch or freight. 

Whatever it is, you're the one wearing the problem when it comes to the customer. And I think that's a pretty healthy way of doing business.

But what about when a clear expectation has been set but the customer wants to change the terms? 

I think you can't be too rigid—too cut and dry—here. You have to be flexible and assess each individual demand from the customer, and accommodate what you can reasonably cover in terms of time and cost.

As much as I hate to say it, if the baker had been able to squeeze in a design change within their 2-week threshold but with a week and a half to go, then perhaps they should have done so. Sure, it might have cost them the time for the entire initial design, but it would have avoided the entire issue and the cost of the lost business resulting from the disappointed customer's public complaint. Whether or not their complaint was fair or true, is beside the point.

While I don't agree with the “customer is always right” brand of customer service that so many major corporations have adjusted, there is a reason why so many have adopted it. Wearing the cost of fixing a customer's own problem often costs less down the line than having an unhappy customer.

But I think there is a middle ground to be struck here. Especially as a small business that can't wear costs easily and with a smile, you don't want to be a doormat and let customers walk all over you, but that's why you can't treat it as “caving” but rather as being “accommodating” and "making an exception. Carefully remind them of the agreed-upon terms and expectations, but break your own rules every once in a while and, when you can, absorb a bit of that cost in a while in order to keep that customer happy. 

And what about the results of the reader's responses?

Of the about 100 comments tallied, 52 voters responded with “B,” or otherwise voiced support of the baker's position. 5 responded “A,” that the public response was a mistake and 26 offered “C.” and/or alternate advice. Our usual batch of commenters, 17 in this instance, were just joyfully off topic or didn't give a clear decision one way or the other.

CerberusInExile, a “B” responder, put the issue of the public response in plain terms in the top-voted response:

B. You didn’t bring the issue to the public, she did. If you correctly relaying information embarrassed her, maybe she should think twice about airing dirty laundry.

Another B responder, Bookshelves-0, had this to say.

B. The cake was delivered as agreed. If she wanted a completely different design, it was reasonable to charge for the extra work.

One “C” responder, vwscienceandart, identified correctly that there is a missing piece of the puzzle, what was said, and how, changes the picture.

There’s a C. here that involves us knowing exactly what you replied to her, word for word. If you were cold and robotic, you torpedoed yourself and learned a lesson. If you were warm and explained how you understand that little ones can change their minds, but how last minute changes raise costs through additional materials, wasted materials, extra design time, etc, and how you can’t take a loss on your income by doing all that for free, then you didn’t do anything wrong.

You just went on trial by jury of social media. If you struggle with responding warmly to criticism, I hate to say this but crafting a fair and gentle response is one of the best uses of AI.

Remember that “technically correct” and caring customer service are not always the same thing. You can stand your ground but tone is EVERYTHING.

And I think this is a great point to consider. Without knowing exactly what was said, all we can really do is judge on the idea of what they “might” have said. It is possible that they hit the customer with a legendary “clap back” of old and didn't give a professional, curt but calculated response on the issue.

So how should you respond to a negative review as a business owner?

Google's own advice to business owners on responding to negative reviewers is of some help here:

Be professional and polite

and

Give helpful responses to negative reviews

They later explain:

Negative reviews aren't necessarily a sign of poor business practices. Instead, they provide a valuable opportunity to understand customer expectations and improve future experiences.

Providing constructive replies and following up on concerns can show that you care and may even encourage the customer to update their review.

Of course, it's always fun to see “clap-back” review responses from owners who publicly put an entitled customer to shame (and we used to post these often), but a measured and calculated response that shows that you care and are willing to deal with issues when they arise is sound advice.

But I think the best advice, and what they should do immediately, is this:

First, repair the relationship. Seek to clear the air with the customer, no matter how off base they feel the customer's complaint is.

This commenter, ScheanaShaylover, advised changing their initial response to the customer to be softer. I think that's a great start, but I think they should reach out to the customer again, not to ask her to take down the comment, but to see how they can reach common ground.

B- but you can always change your response to be softer/more succinct if you’re worried you sounded harsh. If you don’t maintain your boundaries, it will be a free-for-all. ie- you let X change designs for free, so you can do it for me too, etc. She’s the one who put you on blast. That’s not a friend or a good customer.

The baker, who originally posted the story, had a response here to this comment too:

I actually like that idea. Maybe I could've offered something like that instead of making it an all-or-nothing decision. That's something I'll keep in mind for future orders.

I feel this post, shared by another commenter, echoes my thoughts here.

Welcome to business and the real world, where doing what’s “right” isn’t always what’s best for you as a business.

It might be too late, honestly but I would choose C. Swallowing your pride isn’t the end of the world if it ultimately gets you want you want, which is a successful business. Apologize (it has to be genuine and reasonable) to the customer, try to make it up to her and maybe she will see her way clear to post again clearing the air.

I get you have terms but you can’t go strangling yourself with them either. You should reconsider/re-write those as well.

I’m sure the redditors won’t like this comment, but I am actually a reasonably successful person. I hope OP will at least consider my words.

This is some of the best advice in the thread. Sometimes, running a business means swallowing your pride. Here, the baker also responded.

I think this is the part I'm struggling with most. I don't want to lose a good customer over one disagreement, especially when she's supported my business before. Maybe I need to get better at handling these situations without making everything feel so transactional.

Second, they need to expand their customer pool. 

While they wait for the dust to settle and hopefully manage to get back on the good side of the customer and all the other members of the Facebook group as a result, they need to start looking at expanding their customer pool beyond the reach of a single group. 

As in any business, having all your eggs in one basket is a recipe for disaster. 

So, what are your thoughts on all of this? What should the baker do here?