Sister-in-law lands a job interview 2 hours away from her house, plans to move, and her mother expects her son and his wife to pay for her daughter's rent and deposit while she moves and settles down with her daughter

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Nov 8, 2026 8:00 AM EST

A woman lets her jobless sister-in-law of almosy 40 years old of a job opportunity in her town. The sister-in-law lands a few interviews and plans to move if she gets the job. Meanwhile, if she does, her mother expects her son and her wife to welcome her and her daughter into their house while she settles down, or for them to pay her the first deposit and month of rent. 

How far are some mothers willing to go when meddling in their children's affairs?

Apparently, quite a bit, or at least in this case, where the woman thinks she can tell her married son to pay for her 40-year-old daughter's rent. These types of people get on my nerves in ways I can barely begin to express. I know what it's like to have people in your family who are irresponsible, don't want to work, or never actually grew up. Some of my uncles have had everything handed to them for over 30 years, and all that got them was exactly nothing. They have no stable job, no accomplishments, and might turn out to be a burden for their father and the rest of the family. 

The difference here is, even though they have many siblings who could easily sweep in and fix everything, none of them do. They are all adults, and if they are going to choose to keep behaving like children, so be it. No one else is responsible for taking care of a fully grown adult who should have figured out by now how to take care of themselves. And the most important thing is that my grandmother never asked her other children to take responsibility for their grown-up siblings. 

Family can sometimes need help, and that has happened in my own family too. When that happens, we all try to help as best as we can, but no one demands to be given money or a place to live for free, nor do we hold others responsible for the mistakes and decisions the rest of the family makes. There's a difference between helping each other and enabling immaturity and reckless behavior for years.  

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  • AITA - SIL interviews for a job I suggested to her and now wants to live with me or make us pay for her move?

  • Hello Let start this off with my sister in law is lovely but for late 30s isn't super adult. She's always had her hand held and someone has always wound up paying for her someway.
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • Anyway, I recently came to the knowledge of a job opportunity for entry level work, $20-$25 an hour with growth opportunities on top in the city we live in that is
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • 2 hour away from our home town where SIL lives. It's a great opportunity. SIL has been wanting to move back ( used to live here) but has been stuck in a
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • rut in home town. She's also a single mom. Anyway, I suggested she try and apply, nothing ever happens unless you try right? Well she did. Got the first
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • interview and has now successfully gotten a second. Great! That's. exciting! What an opportunity! is what I should be saying, but some how now it's all
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • Cheezburger Image 10675165696
    via Ahmet Kurt For Unsplash+

    The sister-in-law in the job interview. 

    Image for illustrative purposes. 

  • on me if she lands the gig. Meaning, her mom has advised my husband that if she secures this position then we either have to let her live with us, with her
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • child, for the foreseeable future until she gets on her feet. Or, we have to pay for her to move to the job, damage deposit and first month's rent. I'm confused. She
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • was begging for an opportunity to leave her de d end life, but I have to now support her physically and monetarily in order for her to relocate? No one did
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • that for me and my husband? Sure, I Im sure we could let her visit for a week maybe 2, but we also rent and having a roommate isn't part of the plan. Nor is
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • storing all her stuff. She could have said 'thanks for the offer but I'm not prepared to make a move at this time' or figure out how to do that herself. How am I the A
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • grop Bawume H
    via Dina Badamshina for Unsplash+

    All the sister-in-law's things. 

    Stock photography for depiction only.

  • for suggesting and providing a rec for a position to someone and now telling them they need to be an adult and figure out the how on their own. This person is
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • nearing 40 btw. Now I'm stuck between being a girls girl and wanting to see her succeed, but also hoping she doesn't get it
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • because I don't have $6000 to hand out to someone and my husband and I are currently childless for a reason.
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128
  • I feel awful yet mad. I've never had to rely on anyone, mostly because I've never had anyone to rely on and I cannot fathom being unable to figure this out on my own to make it work or not. How is this my problem?
    via u/Zestyclose_Mark9128

  • In this case, she just answered herself: it's definitely not her problem. If the sister in law is almost 40, and with a daughter of her own, its about time she starts putting on her big girl pants and starts figuring things out by herself. No one can go through life being irresponsible just becaus ethey know someone else will come and pick up the pieces of everythin they break. We are responsible for ourselves. No mother-in-law can come in and tell you, her or anyone, how to use your money or that it's your responsibility to take care of another grown-up person. The only way to handle this is for them to set thier boundaries straight and tell them both no. 

  • Cheezburger Image 10675166208
    via Fotos for Unsplash+

    The couple. 

    Not actual story subjects.

  • YogurtclosetVast3118 your HUSBAND needs to tell her NO. She's an adult she needs to start adulting. NTA
    via YogurtclosetVast3118
  • GirlinLondon96 To be honest I don't see a problem here: they can expect you to host her or pay, you can say no. That is the end of the story. They can't force you into doing any of them.
    via GirlinLondon96
  • Now, if your husband has a problem telling mom or sis no... then he is the problem. NTA
    via GirlinLondon96

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family drama mother reddit story husband sister in law mother in law family Reddit son parents apartment moving out
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