30+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (November 14, 2026)

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  • 01
    anine Body Condition o 1-Cupcoral 2-Tons
  • 02
    Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker Sad to see the Cybertruck going away when it was a useful way to learn who the dumbest, most gullible people were in your parents' neighborhood 12:11 PM 11/6/26 639K Views 251 14.7K 55K 678
    via TwitterLitter
  • 03
    Mr. Make It Happen @SupportThaNawf We have to say "Mississippi" after each number La Soule @okmeaux. 14h takes Mississippi so gahdamn long to count votes?? 11:32 AM 11/4/26 3.5M Views 949 24K 305K 6.2K ↑
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  • 04
    Interesting AF @interesting_all NASA captured the Sun smiling at Earth on October 26, 2022 Oct 26, 2022 21:39:52 TAI 2:12 AM 11/3/26 3.1M Views 656 17 5.7K 48K ☐ 5.7K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 05
    the giant @chaser_bait in college my mom found a de d cat and her roommate insisted when you find a de d animal you bring it to the fire department, so they did and the firefighters were like why on earth would you bring us a de d cat 10:22 AM 11/3/26 622K Views 149 1941 57K ☐ 1K
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  • 06
    Sundae_Gurl @SundaeDivine Halloween is the perfect opportunity to pass out all the ketchup and sauce packs you've been accumulating all year. LOUISIAN ISES HEAS SOUGEL RINGS $#9#od PORTALS SAUCE BOLD BO HOPEVE KROPP ANA POPEYES did PEEL 15 OINHOL H Poreves BUTTERMILK RANCH SAUCE HOCHON SHOES SC SPECIE TOR MUY THEM DO ROME DAT 2001 EMO DO SOLMEL LAUR NOSIS SINULT YOVISION SO YRORE CON AMORE DO JOLT DIGIC DECORS AEDOXY BREDETT CREEN DIOMAN COEEN MATA SCIE COTE DS 30 don Dams br Cot that 80 YO 1 ut
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  • 07
    Brett Bateman Enjoyer (DVE) @varshos_gone What a brave young man I'm sorry for what they're gonna do to you NEW YORK POST New York Post @nypost. 3d Knicks star Tyler Kolek calls out Taylor Swift as team's 'fakest' celebrity fan: 'A little performative' trib.al/gAoFUbH FW YORK 13 12:09 AM 11/7/26 1.9M Views 161 16.3K STEVIE KNICKS 151K 3.1K ↑
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  • 08
    Douglas A. Boneparth ❤ @dougboneparth The only thing that would sway my vote this is six text messages from an unidentified number during my work day. 8:55 AM 11/2/26 2.4M Views 520 17 9K 146K ☐ 2K
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  • 09
    sana @sanatrbI bouncer wouldn't let me in the pub cause i forgot my id so i said 'it's ok i understand i'll just go home all by myself....' he sighed and let me in Check surroundings J@river1lab
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  • 10
    WelshWestwood| @Welsh Westwood A young chav lad just knocked on the door and said "Trick or Treat?" I said "What have you come as?" He said "A werewolf." I said "But you haven't got a costume on, you're just in normal clothes" He said "Well it's not a full moon yet is it, do khead?" 5:00PM 10/31/26 1M Views ° 108 17 3.4K 80K ☐ 2.2K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 11
    @enletritas Translated from Spanish by Grok "yes I have cleaned my room" the chair: Rate this translation: Bū 11:58 AM • 11/6/26 · 988K Views 55 17 15K 114K ☐ 1.6K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 12
    The Freight G d aka Bucknast @joebuck125 Ever since I learned spiders learn our routines to stay out the way, I be feelin kinda bad when I catch one lackin. Like my bad gang, I'm not usually awake at this hour you're right. This isn't ad th sentence for you I promise 1:53 PM 10/26/26 1.4M Views . 163 17 8.6K 148K ☐ 6.6K ↑
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  • 13
    4 DiscussingFilm ❤ @DiscussingFilm First look at the ‘DUNE: PART 3' popcorn bucket. CL DARI THREE 9:11 AM 10/29/26 · 12M Views
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  • 14
    Investing Addict ❤ @InvestingAddict Me and Jensen Huang's ex wife after she gets half his money in the divorce. 0 4:13 PM 11/8/26 625K Views 296 1.2K ☑ 16K ☐ 792 ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 15
    timo ❤ @timo_rf JENSEN! THATS NOT WHAT WE MEANT BY CHINESE MODELS!!!!!!! 8:34 PM 11/8/26 2.4M Views 551 17 8.3K 116K 4.6K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 16
    shwgunn @showgunn Translated from Japanese by Grok Halloween "Reverse Björk" Costume Rate this translation: B LIVE Explorar Siguiendo Para ti 2:54 AM 10/30/26 4.3M Views 360 17 18K 31,7K 317K ☐ 9.8K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 17
    Hendrix Cool ❤ @theghostofsf Was literally explaining the, "society falls when old men don't plant trees they will never sit under" to my neighbor (boomer) He said he didn't get it and why would he plant trees if won't be around to see them . 9:55 AM 11/7/26 1.7M Views 525 17 8.2K 144K ☐ 7.7K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 18
    stewie @sizzlinouthere how would moisture fix this sunsetrider @zunzetrider. 1d Forgot to moisturize before work and I look like gay Obama from Colorado. 5:23 PM 11/7/26 1.5M Views 215 14.5K 147K ☐ 3.3K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 19
    @mygirlystuff2 Sometimes I forget how different men and women are until my boyfriend wears the new jacket I got him to work and I ask him "did the other guys compliment your jacket" 10:43 PM 11/6/26 1.6M Views 111 17665 54K ☐ 2.2K ↑
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  • 20
    sam @htxsamjs Instagram "suggested for you" and it's the girl who works at the front desk of my gym that I have O mutuals with 1:15 PM - 11/5/26 2.7M Views 202 12.2K 103K 2.4K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 21
    Rincón Curioso @RincnCuriosoo Translated from Spanish by Grok Veterinarian explaining to his patient that he must take care of his weight: Rate this translation: B ☑ anine Body Condition Seor 1-Cupcorral 2-Tons Made on X 10:04 PM 11/3/26 1.8M Views 106 1 6.3K 54K ☐ 3.3K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 22
    saiyuri @saaacchiko all this talk about texas turning blue got me thinking bout how i blue my chance with you when you were my maine focus. iowa you a lot. you dont have to reply, but tell your mom i said ohio. kansas . 11:58 PM 11/3/26 532K Views 62 17 5.6K 56K ☐ 4K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 23
    sage @ghoulpoet666.13h Hey so what Happened to Manners. My porch light is off because I could not afford candy this year and people (parents!) keep POUNDING on my door and one family just yelled "we know you're in there"? 10:49 PM - 10/31/26 402K Views 14 1 1.8K 37K 1K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 24
    Zoli @fokamaxxing This is illegal in the UK こねこ図鑑 @kitten_zukan. 2d Translated from Japanese Can you breathe?? 糖 2:59 PM 10/30/26 742K Views . 122 17 5.2K ☑ 90K ☐ 3.
    via TwitterLitter
  • 25
    Hard Pass @HardPass4 These squirrels are gonna learn today. TRADER JOE'S Spices of the World Organic Cayenne Pepper NET WT. 1.8 OZ (51g) PAREVE 1:36 PM 10/26/26 940K Views 146 1 171 6.5K ☐ 135
    via TwitterLitter
  • 26
    H @H3rvvv Told my roomate who I absolutely never want to hang out with that I had no Halloween plans right before my gorilla costume arrived in completely transparent packaging 3:35 PM 10/29/26 1.1M Views 114 17 2.6K 117K ☐ 3.1K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 27
    Evie @brumblehag Years ago I saw a here dissing her IDIOT boyfriend for burning candles wrong, and that's how I learned that I, too was burning candles wrong. Now, my candles last 600 and I'm never buying one again. 10:18 PM 10/29/26 6.3M Views . years 205 17 2.3K 160K ☐ 18K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 28
    Ryanair → @Ryanair husband probably had a great flight instablogja Instablog9ja @instablog9ja. 10/19/26 Woman cries for three hours after passenger refuses to swap seats so she can sit beside her husband on 10-hour flight from Turkey to the US 9:47 AM 10/30/26 751K Views • 226 17873 20K 361 ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 29
    Vincent Price Chopper @brianfauteux This famously stops after college @ImLitAsfk. 1d I actually cannot wait to be finished with college I hate living in a constant cycle of deadlines and stress 2:56 PM 10/29/26 834K Views 124 1 1.4K 67K 868
    via TwitterLitter
  • 30
    michael @FreesideMike My grandma used to say I was gunna break hearts when I got older. Grandma the hoes are stringing me up by my intestines. 4:32 PM 10/28/26 802K Views 50 17 4.7K 71K ☐ 2.9K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 31
    muddbear @muddb3ar wake up babe, people are about to discover reading. chantzjm 1d I think audiobooks should have follow along transcript like Apple Music/spotify has lyrics, ya know? 201 121 2724 4:13 AM 10/28/26 289K Views 79 1 1.8K 22K ☐ 495 ↑
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  • 32
    tippity ❤ @tippity My uncle worked at Circuit city before they shut down and he was telling the whole block to buy TVs and Playstations and to put them on credit so when they went bankrupt they didnt have to pay 2:52 AM 10/27/26.925K Views • 92 17582 20K ☐ 752 ↑
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