Zoo Creates Amazon-style Reviews About Animals

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taloringer
Mar 14, 2018 9:00 AM EDT

You thought actual Amazon reviews were funny... wait until you read these

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  • 01
    Reptile - Oregon Zoo @OregonZoo so GOOD Came with super cute case. Not the fastest but outlasts every comparable unit. Retractable accessories. Dropped into a pond and still works perfectly #rateaspecies 10:43 AM 9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 02
    Organism - Slartibartfast @shtoopy very unsatisfied with the shipping. I ordered a frog and what I got was this big melted pile. #rateas pecies 1:48 PM -9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 03
    Turkey Vulture - Katherine O'Reilly @DrKatfish Pleasantly surprised. Thought I had ordered a Roomba, but this did an excellent job of cleaning up my ecosystem. Only downside is the projectile vomiting. Overall 5 stars, would drunkenly purchase again. #rateaspecies 11:42 AM 9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 04
    Echidna - Rick Schwartz @ZooKeeperRick *2/5 stars only. The description stated it was a mammal. Upon arrival this echidna laid an egg. A baby hatched out, that I later found out is called a puggle. I swear if I wanted more Harry Potter Fantastic Beasts I would by another book! #rateaspecies 12:36 PM - 9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 05
    Bird - Clark DeHart @ClarkDeHart Do not approach if you have a fear of clowns. Has better eyeliner than your girl ever will. Maybe it's natural, maybe it's Maybelline? Rocket powered and semi- aquatic. Would win a "how many fish can you fit in your mouth" contest. #rateaspecies 4:38 PM 9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 06
    Bird - Rick Schwartz @ZooKeeperRick 3/5 Audio Recorder: Mixed feelings on this review. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. It only records what it finds interesting. AND will replay LOUDLY usually at or BEFORE sunrise.Also, no battery needed. Requires fresh fruits & veggies VERY MESSY. #rateaspecies 5:36 PM 9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 07
    Text - CA AcademyOfSciences @calacademy Mar 9 NOT AS EXPECTED Color not as shown (not even CLOSE!!), supposed to be predator but just sits on heated rock all day and let turtles walk all over him (if ambush predators are so different you should tell people) also missing one toe??? #rateaspecies 290 13 1.2K CA AcademyOfSciences @calacademy UPDATE 3/9/18: ACTUALLY THE BEST 12:51 PM -9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 08
    Owl - Oregon Zoo @OregonZoo YOU WONT BE DISAPPOINTED This stylish little unit is amazing. Sound quality A+. No distortion at full volume but bass is a little weak. Top rotates which is a plus. #rateaspecies 9:03 AM -9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 09
    Organism - Oregon Zoo @OregonZoo SO MUCH FUN Cuts through the water like butter. Not great for white water but perfect for lakes, ponds, etc. Set-up is easy and it won't flip. Variable speed. No mount for GoPro. #rateaspecies 9:42 AM -9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 10
    Fish - Ina Reichel @inareichel Couldn't afford a real Picasso. But this is a great substitute. #rateaspecies 11:17 PM - 9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 11
    There was a problem rendering this video - it may have been deleted.
    via TygerWDR
  • 12
    Snails and slugs - Ben Fewkes @psycocat LATE SHIPMATE AND WRONG SIZE Ordered a mobile home off the internet and not only was the shipment late, but it is the wrong size and already has a tenant who claims to have a life time renter's clause in their agreement. Cornu aspersum #rateaspecies 12:57 PM - 12 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 13
    Brown bear - Tyger @TygerWDR GREAT FOR FISHING Extremely luxurious exterior hides a strong & sturdy frame. Extreme traction on a 4x4 drivetrain for all terrain grip. Overengineered but a solid unit for outdoor excursions. Can run on peanut butter but not recommended. #rateaspecies PAr 10:22 AM -9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 14
    Lion - Los Angeles Zo0 and Botanical. @LAZOO ZOO MOSTLY HARMLESS A+ excellent sleeper, perfectly content to sleep for 20+ hours in a day. Best to avoid during waking hours. #rateaspecies 10:28 AM 9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 15
    There was a problem rendering this video - it may have been deleted.
    via MontereyAq
  • 16
    Wildlife - ABC Wildlife Park @ABCWildPark Comes with spare included. Excellent value #rateaspecies #mothersday 11:36 AM 11 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 17
    Wildlife - Oregon Zoo @OregonZoo GREAT VALUE LOVE these. Must-have on all outdoor adventures. Keeps bugs off even when wet. Cordless. #rateaspecies ODurham 10:09 AM-9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 18
    Mammal - Amy Buhman @AmyBuhman #rateaspecies Eastern Fox Squirrel (aka Campus Squirrels) Looks like they swallowed another squirrel whole Thinks nuts are overrated Favorite food: Big Macs 10/10 will steal your food What is hibernation 10:46 AM -9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 19
    Terrestrial animal - Oregon Zoo @OregonZoo FIRST IMPRESSIONS Overall very good first impressions. Sturdy built, totally winter-ready and waterproof Only comes in brown but that's actually a plus for me #rateaspecies 8:30 AM 9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 20
    Organism - Tyger @TygerWDR NOT WHAT I ORDERED I ordered a duck, otter, and beaver bundle apparently there was some kind of freak accident in shipping or something Contacted shipper, they claim no error. Bad seller. NEVER BUYING AGAIN! #rateaspecies 12:51 PM 9 Mar 2018
    via Sad and Useless
  • 21
    There was a problem rendering this video - it may have been deleted.
    via shtoopy
  • 22
    Vertebrate - Tyger Follow @TygerWDR CAT/SNAKE HYBRID Extremely musky. 5/6 ends sharp and pointy. Handles like a furry noodle. But fantastic for taking care of unwanted prairie dogs along your property #rateaspecies 11:37 AM 9 Mar 2018
    via #rateaspecies

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