A Humorous Millennial’s Guide To Cocktails

By Chaz Hutton, Newyorker

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  • 01
    Drinkware - APEROL SPRITZ 30% I FEEL VERY ITALIAN-CHIC RIGHT NOw. 40% JUST LOVE THE COLOR OF THESE. 30% WHY THE SODA WATER
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  • 02
    Font - GIN-AND-TONIC 40% BLAME my MOTHER FOR my LOVE OF THESE 60% WHY Am 1 CRYING? I'VE ONLY HAD FIVE
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  • 03
    Martini glass - COSMOPOLITAN 40% CARRIE BRADSHAW. 60% REALLY? WE'RE STILL DRINKING THESE?
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  • 04
    Stemware - MARTINI SO% I THINK i'm QUITE CLASSY 50% OH,MY GOD, THESE GET YOU REALLY DRUNK
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  • 05
    Bottle - BEER 100% CANT BE BOTHERED CHOOSING SOMETHING MORE COMPLICATED
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  • 06
    Drinkware - VODKA, LIME AND SODA 50% THIS IS TASTELES S. 50%. BUT HAS So FEW CARBS IT'S PRACTICALLY A YOGA SESSION
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  • 07
    Stemware - CHAMPAGNE IO0% You KNOW PROSECCO IS HALF THE PRICE AND PRETTY MUCH TASTES THE SAME
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  • 08
    Stemware - WHITE WINE 1O0% WANTED RED BUT EVERYONE ELSE AT THE TABLE WANTED WHITE AND I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE A SCENE
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  • 09
    Stemware - RED WINE 50% BECAUSE I'm AN ADULT... 50%...AND THIS STUFF IS QUITE CHEAP.
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