Capital Punishment
It's cruel, sure, but it's still not the harshest sentence. That would be Helvetica Punishment. - Matty Malaprop
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40+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week
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Curler refuses to cancel his curling competition to attend his niece's baptism: 'I paid about $200 to participate and my team would be short a player if I didn't show up.'
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Boss bombards mostly-remote employee with 5 AM screenshot demanding 5 days/week in the office: 'It's an hour drive from home'
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‘You’re doing the best you can mom and dad!': Parenting laughs and woes for witty mothers and fathers (February 7, 2026)
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17-year-old refuses to sell her 2 concert tickets so her friend can attend their girlfriend's high school graduation the same night as the concert: 'My mom was the one who paid over $200 for these tickets.'
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