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15 Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (May 6, 2018)

Motide Posted by Motide
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  • Text - The Dad Follow THE DAD @thedad Son: dad there's a monster in my room, can sleep in here? Me: look it's you he's after, why make him my problem too? 3:27 PM -2 May 2018 335 Retweets 1,384 Likes t 335 8 1.4K
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    Via @thedad
  • Text - cory @_coryrichardson Follow [getting my daughter her first piñata] daughter: *excited* omg i love unicorns do i get to keep it me: no *hands her bat* you have to beat it with this 10:11 AM 2 May 2018 1,877 Retweets 11,688 Likes t 1.9K 22 12K
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    Via @_coryrichardson
  • Text - James Breakwell Following @XplodingUnicorn Me: How was school? 5-year-old: I didn't get bit by a shark. Me: Do you usually get bit by a shark? 5: No. I'm careful. 2:58 PM - 4 May 2018 1,261 Retweets 11,585 Likes t 1.3K 28 12K
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    Via @XplodingUnicorn
  • Text - Dominus Follow @TheLateShOw My daughter looked me dead in the eye and said "Daddy, no matter what... We gotta keep going and hope to see another day." I just wanna know what the hell they got going on in her pre-k that's so stressful that she came across that saying 2:16 PM - 28 Apr 2018 92,602 Retweets 412,962 Likes t 93K 424 413K
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    Via @TheLateSh0w
  • Text - TheAlexNevil, Unfluencer. Follow @TheAlexNevil Parenting is a mix of having no idea what your child is talking about and hoping to god they don't start explaining it. 7:11 AM 30 Apr 2018 211 Retweets 561 Likes ti 211 12 561
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    Via @TheAlexNevil
  • Text - Trey McBride @TreyMcBride Follow Replying to @The LateShOw Kids this day are on another level. Called my 4yo "my princess" like I often do just messing with her the other day and she got heated and said "I'm not a princess, in a scientist!" 10:11 AM - 29 Apr 2018 373 Retweets 4,626 Likes t 373 17 4.6K
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    Via @TreyMcBride
  • Text - Andrew Fowler Follow @fowlerism DAUGHTER, AGE 6: My legs are running away from the ghosts of my feet! ME: Ha ha, you're so silly [later] ME: *waking her up at 2am* Sweetie, Daddy has several questions 4:42 PM-30 Apr 2018 377 Retweets 2,101 Likes t377 10 2.1K
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    Via @fowlerism
  • Text - Jackie Bouvier Follow @jackiembouvier Age is just a number until your back goes out picking up a sock. 3:33 AM - 4 May 2018 248 Retweets 744 Likes t 248 26 744
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    Via @jackiembouvier
  • Text - Lurkin' Mom Follow @LurkAtHomeMom If another mom leaves her kids with her husband to meet you out somewhere and you bring your toddler, that is considered act of war 11:37 AM - 3 May 2018 76 Retweets 708 Likes t 76 708
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    Via @LurkAtHomeMom
  • Text - Josh Following @iwearaonesie [playing Hangman] son: 3! me: It has to be a letter son: Oh. 9! me *looks at wife* Are we cousins? 11:03 AM 2 May 2018 398 Retweets 1,616 Likes ti 398 14 1.6K
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    Via @iwearaonesie
  • Text - Jessie Follow @mommajessiec Hell hath no fury like a woman who after a long day is greeted with "what's for dinner." 4:50 PM-3 May 2018 170 Retweets 571 Likes ti 170 15 571
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    Via @mommajessiec
  • Text - mark Follow @TheCatWhisprer If I start my toddler's nighttime routine by 6PM I can usually get her to bed by 8PM the following day. 5:45 PM-30 Apr 2018 206 Retweets 1,1 45 Likes HOOTOD t 206 15 1.1K
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    Via @TheCatWhisprer
  • Text - Unfiltered Mama Follow @UnfilteredMama What's parenting 4 kids like so far? I've called the new baby Emily at least 3 times & nobody in our family even has that name. 3:07 PM- 29 Apr 2018 111 Retweets 1,177 Likes t 111 36 1.2K
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    Via @UnfilteredMama
  • Text - MyQuestionable Life @2questionable Follow Parenting is basically just walking around your house picking up dirty socks and threatening to take away everything your kid loves. 12:49 PM 30 Apr 2018 173 Retweets 657 Likes t 173 15 657
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    Via @2questionable
  • Text - Simon Holland Following @simoncholland What position is it in soccer where my kid tries to find a four leaf clover? 7:56 PM - 30 Apr 2018 324 Retweets 2,373 Likes 1324 96 2.4K
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    Via @simoncholland
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