Flan-a Del Rey
Light of my life / ire of my thighs / be a good baby / don't increase my waist size. - Matty Malaprop
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'Her brother doesn't like me and the feeling is mutual': New dad's brother-in-law asks him to babysit his kid on Father's Day, doesn't understand why he declines
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55-year-old mom schedules family cruise right before her 30-year-old daughter's grad school graduation, forcing the family to chose which event to attend: 'Many have already said they can't afford both'
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Aunt contributes $11k to 17-year-old niece's college fund, refuses to give more money when sister spends most of it on her prom: 'Can you spot me $2k just for now?'
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35+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (June 14, 2025)
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Salaried employee takes a 1hr 18 minute lunch, is docked 2 days of PTO in retaliation: 'There is no specific lunch break time'
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