A Consensus Has Been Reached

Well of COURSE it's "le friendzone." There's NO POSSIBLE WAY that:

1. The male is still in the early flirtation stages of the relationship and plans on making his advances in the near future, but is willing to invest a lot of time and energy into this early stage.
2. The male is a spineless wimp and hasn't made his emotional and/or physical attraction known, so the female has no knowledge of the male's desire to mate (similar to #1, except the early stage lasts indefinitely).
3. The male and the female are genuinely platonic friends and have little interest in a physical relationship.

Nope, neither of these three conditions are anywhere near the realm of possibility, and this army of parrots who think they're clever by beginning every word with "le" are absolutely correct.