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17 Crazy BS Excuses That Turned out to Be True

Turns out some dogs love the taste of homework.

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  • 1
    Text - Royalbroke 165 points 5 hours ago A kid in high school showed up with no backpack and no homework for our first period class. His excuse when the teacher called him out in front of the whole class? "My mom lit my backpack on fire". Obviously we all laughed and the teacher was not amused. Turns out his mom went to clean the kitchen floor and moved his backpack up onto the stove and knocked the electric burner on without realizing. They left for dinner and came back to the backpack melted a
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  • 2
    Text - AlaskanSable 837 points 10 hours ago I used to work with a guy who would show up 5-10 minutes late to almost every shift. He always had some silly excuse about how it wasn't his fault (ie late bus, traffic, broken bike, etc). This goes on for months, until he finally just doesn't show up one day. Sick of his shit, I ended up texting him a snide comment like, "What happened, you get hit by a bus or something?" That's exactly what happened. He was biking to work, crossed an intersection, an
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  • 3
    Text - John_Ritano 103 points 5 hours ago We were going to present a group work on PowerPoint at school, when the day arrived, the guy who was supposed to compile our work arrived empty handed, when we asked why, he said "my mom threw the notebook out the window because she thought it was too old to use, and broke the pendrive i was using because she thought i was using it to store porn." We called bullshit and the teacher went to have a talk with him and his mother, she turned out to be batshit
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  • 4
    Text - meatloaf1212 29 points 5 hours ago We always believed it because she was a trainwreck, but a coworker actually called and said she wasn't going to make it in because she caught her husband with 2 prostitutes. Couldn't just say you're not feeling well?
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  • 5
    Text - zoaliz 223 points 7 hours ago I was once late bc the bus driver got off the bus to buy some breakfast pastries (bizcochos, I'm not from the US) from a bakery. I told my boss there had been an accident bc the real reason sounded like total bs
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  • 6
    Text - chillshark 756 points 9 hours ago I don't remember much from preschool, but I vividly remember this little shit named Elias. Everyday, Elias would do some stupid shit and I sometimes got in trouble just for sitting near him. I always told my parents about the daily nonsense that this fuckhead pulled and I only found out recently (Im in college) that my parents thought that I had just IMAGINED Elias They thought that I was a problem child who created an alter ego to explain why I occasiona
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  • 7
    Text - stefneck 65 points 7 hours ago One time a guy in our class was late to school and he said it was because he got burgled, we asked what they stole and he said some Ice lollies from his freezer. We all called bullshit but when someone went with him home to the police, we knew he wasnt bsing
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  • 8
    Text - mr_sparkIez 1.4k points 10 hours ago All four of his grand parents had died and were being put into the ground all within two weeks of each other.And he was pallbearer at each one of them-so he had to miss our midterm and another test after Yup, they did all die.
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  • 9
    Text - Philieselphy 61 points 5 hours ago I was working on a project long distance with a colleague via email. The guy was always pretty shifty and had given me so many excuses why he hadn't sent me the latest version of the project. So then he tells me he got a virus. I was very blunt in the next email that he go get his computer fixed, this isn't my problem, he knew about the deadline ages ago, a computer virus is not a good enough excuse. Turns out it was a liver virus and he would be in hosp
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  • 10
    Text - insertcaffeine 19 points 3 hours ago A coworker called in and said he'd be late to work because he was "Handcuffed to the bed and the girls with the key aren't here." Are. You. Fucking. SERIOUS?! And actually, he was! He came in a few hours late, very apologetic, with scratches on his wrists and hickeys on his neck. His boss gave him a high five and said, "You know this is still a write-up, right?" He said it was worth it
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  • 11
    Text - Your_acceptable 17 points 3 hours ago Mine: Told my boss I don't feel well, I gotta go home, I think I'm bout to have a seizure. I'm getting an Aurora and its frightening me. (I tend to get cluster seizures). Thought it was bs and said "Whatever, go, but you're docked for a whole day." (Docked counts agaisnt you, and isn't good.) Walked out to the parking lot to my ride, dropped like a sack of potatoes on the burning hot asphalt.
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  • 12
    Text - foodyrick 260 points 6 hours ago I was managing a bar in New Orleans and one of my servers came in late. Her excuse was that her car had been stolen from another bar and wrecked, and that she had had to go to the doctor to have her boob looked at. She watched a guy use a key to open the door of her dodge neon, start the car, and leave. She and her friend followed him in her friend's truck (before cell phones, so couldn't call police from road). They had just caught up to him when he got i
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  • 13
    Text - silenttigerr 258 points 8 hours ago I had to call in to work because i was dealing with the police over a homeless man who was harrassing me and he would sleep in my backyard. Everyone thought i was just trying to get outta work
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  • 14
    Text - dukeofbun 976 points 7 hours ago Downstairs neighbor's kid in my first apartment was a walking liability. He was pretty young, like a toddler when I moved in but sometimes I'd be out and see him on his lil scooter zooming round the car park and then straight into my car. I'd always be like "Why, pal? Why?!" he'd always say he didn't see it. He once ran into my front door. Same reason. All the time. "didn't see it." I'm like old man river, yeah sure ya didn't see it ya lil jerk! It was rig
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  • 15
    Text - Stephi23 218 points 8 hours ago Well there is a guy in our school who used to go pee every 30 minutes or so. 'I was in the bathroom' was his excuse all the time. Once he went like twice in 20 mins and his project partner got real annoyed, slammed the bathroom door down to find him .. Peeing
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  • 16
    Text - Brock_Hard_Canuck 100 points 7 hours ago I was the one giving the excuse. I was in Grade 3 at the time, and I had my stuff for the school day ready to go in my backpack. I set it down by the front door of my house, and went off to brush my teeth By the time I got back downstairs, my dog had torn into my backpack, and eaten pretty much everything in there. It obviously smelled my lunch in my backpack, and just dug in Unfortunately, my homework was in there too, and it got torn to shreds. M
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  • 17
    Text - AShyRansomedRoyal 9 points 3 hours ago My dad didn't show up to my birthday dinner one year. He's kinda unreliable anyway but it was disappointing and he didn't give any notice. When he reemerged a few days later, he said that while on a business trip to Miami he had witnessed a murder, tried to do CPR on the victim who turned out to be a basketball player and was put into witness protection while they searched for his killer. Definitely thought he was fucking with us. It was all complete
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