27 All New Texts From Mittens That Will Make You LOL

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taloringer
Jun 5, 2018 12:00 PM EDT

Mittens has been texting non-stop and we have gotten all the latest drama from the kitten! Just what kind of shenanigans has little Mittens been up to...


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  • 01
    Text - Furizon 10:34 AM Messages Mittens I'l be home early today, but I'll be pretty drugged up from my dentist appointment.I won't be much fun. Now I'm worried! It's OK, Mittens. Grandma is driving me. I'm not worried about that. I fear you'll be dipping into my catnip for your appointment I don't need catnip. I have human meds. Good! #stillworried textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 02
    Text - Furizon 9:22 PM Messages Mittens I feel robbed! Why, Mittens? I didn't get to lick your legs after your shower this morning! I had to leave for work early. Sorry! #totallyrobbed You're being dramatic. Dear local law officials: I'd like to report a robbery. #official Bye, Mittens. textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 03
    Text - Furizon 9:23 AM Messages Mittens Mittens, did you tip over my water cup this morning? Do I get a tip if I did? No. Then the dog did it. Earl was in the backyard this morning. Maybe he sneaked back into the house, slithered along the floor like a snake, and tipped it over? Do I at least get a tip for creativity? textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 04
    Text - Furizon 2:12 PM Messages Mittens Earl, wake up. Have I ever told you that you're a good dog? No. You tell me I'm a filthy hound. You misunderstood me. So ... I fancy a bag of croissants on the counter. You're not allowed on the counter. But no one ever said filthy hounds - I mean good dogs --aren't. I'll pay you in croissant. Sometimes my generosity astounds even me. textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 05
    Text - Furizon 3:35 PM Messages Mittens Did you and Treat Guy break up? No. He travels a lot. Travels? Fancy! Well, it's for work. Does he go to fancy, faraway places? He goes to Pittsburgh. Sounds VERY exotic! He'll bring you treats. #marryhim #nipsburgh textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 06
    Text - Furizon 10:02 AM Messages Mittens Mittens, please leave my toothbrush alone. I think the manufacturer made an error. I'm quite certain it's a cat toy. No. I use to to clean my teeth. Paws off. You clean your teeth with a cat toy? Never mind. I tossed it. I have extras. In the bottom drawer in the bathroom? #cattoydrawer Mitty! textsfrommittens.com OH
    via textsfrommittens
  • 07
    Text - Furizon 10:00 AM Messages Mittens May the fourth be with you, Mitty! I have no idea to what you are referring. It's May 4. The Force. What are you going to force me to do? Star Wars! I know I'm a star, but I don't intend to fight anyone. #iwouldwin Never mind. Good. I'm going to nap now. #andscene textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 08
    Text - Furizon 12:11 PM Messages Mittens Grandma! You have to come over right this minute! What's wrong, sweet Mitty? My felt rhino is in crisis under the sofa! The dog drank half the water from my fancy fountain! The cloud ate my sun puddle! You want a Grandma snuggle? #thattoo textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 09
    Text - Furizon 3:10 PM Messages Mittens Fiona, do you want to come over and watch birds with me today? Yes! 'll let you have the top perch of my cat tree. Mittens, you're the best boyfriend ever. I know, right? In fact, I'm such a good boyfriend that I'll let you share the top perch with me. #alsogenerous textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 10
    Text - Furizon 12:45 PM Messages Mittens Aghast! You've been withholding! Mittens, what are you talking about? It's Twosday, which means I should get TWO servings of liver treats. You've only ever given me one. It's Tuesday, not Twosday Nice try.I'm going to have to do some math and get back to you regarding backpay Did I mention #AGHAST? textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 11
    Text - Furizon 2:02 PM Messages Mittens Stumpy's having fun with online dating. I'll bet he is. He has a different date every night! Doesn't he want to find a steady girlfriend? He's too busy with his catnip-running job You should have a talk with him. It's about time for Stumpy to settle down. It's about time for you to settle down. #boom textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 12
    Text - Furizon 10:22 AM Messages Mittens I'm thinking of turning my cat condo into an Airbnb. Not a great idea, Mitty. Said the woman who's never spent any time INSIDE my condo. I'm sure it's nice. Try LUXURIOUS. MIND-BLOWING. I'm pulling the "mom card" on this one, Mitty. Does the "mom card" say, "Mom is forever banned from Mitty's Airbnb?" #ithoughtso textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 13
    Text - Furizon 9:34am Messages Mittens Sunday's Mother's Day. I know, Mitty. I have a couple of ideas for your gift, but I have a few questions. How do you feel about warm laundry? What's your stance on cardboard boxes? How long can you go without having to visit the litter box? I'm not sure how to feel about the way this is heading. I'l help you: #bestmothersdayever textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 14
    Text - Furizon 9:02 AM Messages Mittens That was the best Mother's Day ever! I thought you'd like it. I never thought I'd love a cardboard fort filled with warm laundry. The Mittens knows. The gentle biscuit- making massage on my back was a treat. The Mittens knows. I love you, Mitty. The Mittens knows #iloveyouto textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 15
    Text - Furizon 10:18 PM Messages Mittens Tell me about when I was a kitten. You used to chase your tail. It was adorable! But my tail was made of nunchucks and fire, right? #tough It was cute and fuzzy! BTW,you still chase your tail sometimes. But it's even MORE nunchucky and fiery now, right? #extratough Sure, Mittens I thought so. textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 16
    Text - Furizon 9:15 AM Messages Mittens There are so many sun puddles today! It's a very nice day. I think I'll nap in the sun ALL DAY LONG. Grandma's coming over at noon. Is she bringing treats? She usually does, Mittens. I think I'll sleep in the sun UNTIL NOON. textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 17
    Text - lFurizon 11:29 AM Messages Mittens The Royal Wedding sure does look fancy Ohhhh, yeah. Do you think Prince Harry is trying to out- fancy me? I don't think so, Mittens. But now I feel self- conscious. Would you like me to ask Grandma to make you a little royal cape? You know I hate wearing cat clothes. #maybeacrown o textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 18
    Text - Furizon 12:22 PM Messages Mittens I'm afraid I'm going to fall asleep and miss the royal wedding. I'll wake you up, Mitty. But what if you forget? I won't. But what if I'm in the litter box and you can't find me? Asleep in the litter box? It's happened before. To a friend. textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 19
    Text - Furizon 10:10 AM Messages Mittens So did you enjoy watching the royal wedding? I did! It gave me lots of ideas about how to become even MORE fancy Like what? Next time I go to the vet, I want to be taken there by a horse-drawn carriage. Can you make that happen? Um ... I'll take that as a YES. textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 20
    Text - Furizon ? 12:11 PM Messages Mittens You hate me Why would you say that, Mittens? You locked me out of your bedroom this morning. It was unintentional. I was using the mirror on the back of the door. When you looked into that mirror, did you see a selfish person? #thetruthhurts Bye, Mittens. textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 21
    Text - Furizon 1:38 PM Messages Mittens Good news! I just received a text that I've won a trip to a resort! Mitty, that's a junk text. They're trying to sell you something. So The Mittens doesn't deserve a vacation on a sunny, sandy beach? That's not what I'm saying. Who needs sunny sand, anyway.. I'l just go relax ON TOP OF MY CAT LITTER. I'm sure that's EXACTLY THE SAME. textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 22
    Text - Furizon 2:11 PM Messages Mittens Where have you been? I've been doing that little-known feline activity: sleeping Very funny. I know, right? Why hasn't Jimmy Fallon's show called? He'd be lucky to have The Mittens on his little program. But for now, I'm going back to sleep. I know: shocker. Love you, Mitty. Love you too, Mama. textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 23
    Text - Furizon 4:10 PM Messages Mittens Stumpy, do you want to come over and have a double date tonight with Fiona and me? Let me check my Google Calendar to see which lucky lady cat is my date. It's Bernice. She has a beauty of a sister from the same litter. Should bring her? Um, I have a girlfriend. I meant for ME! LOL. Just kidding! Better put aside some extra treats, though. #justincase textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 24
    Text - Furizon 10:44 AM Messages Mittens Mittens, we need to find an easier way for you to snuggle with me while I'm using the laptop And? I can't type while you're stretched across the keyboard. Solution! Put the computer away. That's not easier for me. Oh! I thought you meany easier for ME. Of course you did. textsfrommittens.com OH
    via textsfrommittens
  • 25
    Text - Furizon 12:45 PM Messages Mittens Stumpy's coming over tonight. Can you go swimming after work and leave your swimsuit on the bathroom floor again? Why? Because. Right. You little weirdos like to smell the chlorine on my swimsuit. We little weirdos like treats, too. #justsayin textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 26
    Text - Furizon 2:11 PM Messages Mittens I'm in big trouble. Earl licked my head. Now my fur's sticking up! Your doggy brother loves you. THAT'S the least of my problems. Fiona LIKES my hair. Says it makes me look tougher. So now I have to rely on filthy hound SPIT as a hair product to impress my girlfriend. PANTENE #notfunny textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens
  • 27
    Text - Furizon 10:22 AM Messages Mittens Why is Drunk Patty outside with Stumpy? She's riding the bus to work. Her truck died. Stumpy's probably keeping her company. Now they're crawling around on the grass There's a catnip patch. WHAT? Why don't I know this? You want me to be a shut in! You're an inside cat. You're trying to Grey Gardens me! #littlemitty textsfrommittens.com
    via textsfrommittens

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