That's Not Particularly Reassuring...
First time he opens his mouth about a white whale, I'm jacking a lifeboat and rowing the hell out of here. - Matty Malaprop
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Grandma breaks into 19-year-old granddaughter's house when she's not home and riffles through her belongings: 'Just because she occasionally feeds me doesn’t give her the right to do this'
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Wife demands rich husband buy his stepdaughter a horse instead of “leasing one-half of a horse” and expects him to pay for college education: ‘That's not how I operate’
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17-year-old sister calls out brother in law by giving him a cookie every time he is impolite to others: 'I would open the jar and give him a cookie saying “Here’s your peace offering!" [...] Everyone would burst out laughing and he would shut up'
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'She's just a kid': 10-year-old stepdaughter gets overlooked during a family gathering when she's the only kid not to get a gift bag, leading her mom to confront the family
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17-year-old sister calls out brother in law by giving him a cookie every time he is impolite to others: 'I would open the jar and give him a cookie saying “Here’s your peace offering!" [...] Everyone would burst out laughing and he would shut up'
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