False Alarm of the Day

In light of an explosion of news stories about cannibalism over the past week, the Centers for Disease Control have issued a statement reassuring us that zombies are not real, and we can go about our business without fear of a zombie apocalypse. People eating each other's body parts due to the effects of synthetic drugs, on the other hand ...

The CDC told the Huffington Post that "CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)."

Well, that's reassuring, coming from the same agency that has a detailed webpage about zombie apocalypse preparedness.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my bunker.

[gawker]