21 Funny Tweets That'll Kill Your Sunday Blues

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  • 01
    Text - Caitlin @caithuls BOSS: Your feminist agenda is starting to disrupt meetings ME: *tucks tampon behind ear like a pen* How 25/09/2017, 13:38 3,411 Retweets 13.4K Likes
  • 02
    Text - andrew @AndrewChamings [whispering through glory hole] you know what else is glorious? friendship 08/07/2017, 22:24 921 Retweets 2,398 Likes
  • 03
    Text - Floyd @dafloydsta ME: I have good news & bad news WIFE: Bad news first M: The penguin pooped in the tub W: We don't own a- M: *smiling* And now the good news 02/12/2015, 16:42 4,847 Retweets 7,707 Likes
  • 04
    Text - Brynnester @brynnester te Bank Robber: EVERYONE STAY STILL & RAISE YOUR HANDS Me: How can we 'stay still' & also raise our hands? Other Bank Robber: He's right Colin 20/10/2017, 18:13 249 Retweets 789 Likes
  • 05
    Text - the banana situation @trojansauce "im leaving you" is it because i call cottage cheese cotty c? "no it's because i don't love you anymore" so we're cool about the cotty c? 03/04/2016, 18:59 249 Retweets 684 Likes
  • 06
    hearing aid joke in a tweet
  • 07
    tweet of handsome stranger giving you note about petting your dog
  • 08
    Tweet of a robber who ordered a latte instead of robbing the place
  • 09
    Text - Johnny Normality @Probgoblin Fun fact: If you shout "Show yourself, coward" when you get home your dog will wake up and run into the room because it does not have a good grasp of English but is happy to see you. 08/02/2018, 21:52 1,454 Retweets 6,298 Likes
  • 10
    Text - Flora underscore underscore Flora... @Flora_Flora Hey I just realised: Harry Albus Dumbledore Ron Ron Yermione Professor Quirrell Old woman Tom Riddell That guy with the eye Everyone else Ron 10/02/2018, 15:20
  • 11
    Text - Frisky Zisky @OrangeFact REYON CAB DRIVER: what house are you? ME: I'm Targaryen CD: No, not that kind of house M: Oh haha. I'm Ravenclaw CD: *agitated* No! I mean where do you live?? M: Ohhhh. You passed it a while ago 26/11/2017, 18:26 1,019 Retweets 2,923 Likes
  • 12
    Text - Llama In A Tux @LlamalnaTux Top sirs, ranked: 5. lan Mckellan 4. Lancelot 3. Loin steak 2. Prise Parties 1. Fin' USA 08/01/2018, 13:17 1,288 Retweets 4,793 Likes
  • 13
    Text - Ygrene @Ygrene [me as a knight] Me: squire, young squire...do you have the time? Squire: sir by the judge of the sun, it is 3pm Me: wrong squire, it is (shutting visor) knight time 11/02/2018, 14:30 907 Retweets 2,870 Likes
  • 14
    Text - Ben @Opoint5twins - Fred, Velma, Shaggy.. Can you name one of the 'Big 5' African animals? - Rhino - We know you do, Scooby, but it's not your team's turn 05/01/2014, 14:55 5,530 Retweets 6,599 Likes
  • 15
    Text - Dorky Romano @SuperApple80 Bird puns? Owl allow them. 12/01/2018, 22:18 455 Retweets 929 Likes (0
  • 16
    Text - cory @coryrichardson_ [laying down looking at the stars] her: do you ever look up and think about how small you really are me: actually 5 inches is average size 29/01/2018, 18:21 56 Retweets 242 Likes
  • 17
    Text - David Hughes @david8hughes Her: I like smart guys Me [eats soup with a fork & pretends I understood Interstellar]: thats what happens if u get stuck behind a bookcase 04/12/2016, 15:56 839 RETWEETS 2,323 LIKES
  • 18
    Text - The Hyperdrive @The Hyyyype [high] ME: dude, NASA faked the moon landing FRIEND: wait, u mean- ME: yep, the moon never landed at all, it's still out there somewhere 10/08/2016, 01:51 2,768 Retweets 5,501 Likes
  • 19
    Text - surf ghost @moutheaters Did you know you can just start screaming, basically anywhere. It's not illegal or anything 17/01/2018, 23:25 2,444 Retweets 6,689 Likes
  • 20
    Text - WHERE IS THE NORSE GONE ringworm @prawn_meat WWERE TEDE? it's a busy day at the skate park but everyone stops what they're doing as i climb to the top of the half pipe with my board under my arm. i solemnly adjust the straps on my helmet and place the board on the edge. as i'm about to drop ina huge bird flies into my dick, killing me 22/01/2018, 10:28 1,020 Retweets 6,211 Likes
  • 21
    funny sunday tweet of talking to the therapist about Stewart Little car crash

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