I Can Has Cheezburger?

16 Animal Tweets That Made Us Laugh Last Week (July 30, 2018)

  • 1
    Text - markydoodoo @markydoodoo Follow what if sloths aren't really lazy they're just lulling us into a false sense of security and one day they release all their saved energy overrunning us all and then take over the world all hail the sloth king 1:09 PM 19 Jul 2018
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  • 2
    Organism - Ray Follow @SirEviscerate When your teleportation device is poorly calibrated 7:36 AM 28 Jul 2018
  • 3
    Text - markydoodoo @markydoodoo Follow what most people find funny: thoughtful, well crafted jokes delivered with acumen what i find funny: lol if there was such a thing as a slutty hot dog it'd prolly be called a thot dog 11:00 PM 27 Jul 2018
  • 4
    Text - Pitch Follow @pitchjokes Some facts about SHARKS for Shark Week! -sharks are easily identified by their overinflated sense of self worth -they die if they stop moving, because they are all strapped with bombs -sharks are made of 95% teeth, and 5% more teeth -all of them are named Tony 12:55 PM - 26 Jul 2018
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  • 5
    Text - Pitch Follow @pitchjokes dolphins who get praised literally all year: uhh shark week? why isn't there a dolphin week? / 11:30 AM 24 Jul 2018
  • 6
    Cat - Fluff Society Follow @FluffSociety "America's next top model" 5:00 PM 27 Jul 2018
  • 7
    Text - Pitch Follow @pitchjokes way cooler names for fish: -damp mice -aqua pigeons -swim birds -water dudes -no legged idiots 1:36 PM 23 Jul 2018
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  • 8
    Dog - Pitch Follow @pitchjokes Me retweeting myself 5:26 PM 18 Jul 2018
  • 9
    Text - Boyd's BackyardTM Follow @TheBoydP If animals gave ratings, would it be harder to get a bad rating from a dog or a good rating from a cat? 3:32 PM 25 Jul 2018
  • 10
    Vertebrate - markydoodoo Follow @markydoodoo Hi! welcome to Seal Community College! are you local or otter town? haha we like to joke around here. cmon, i'll show you around campus 8:16 PM 27 Jul 2018
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  • 11
    Text - EnvyDaTropic TM @envydatropic Follow My dog and both lose our minds when the doorbell rings but for totally opposite reasons......l don't want company 6:48 PM 10 Jul 2018
  • 12
    Text - Jon Following @ArfMeasures Phone] Boss: You haven't been in work all week! Me: I've told you, I always take this week off for religious reasons Boss *gritted teeth* and I've told you, "sharks" is not a religion 4:58 AM 27 Jul 2018
  • 13
    Text - Abbie Follow @AbbieEvansXO [hearing burglar noises downstairs, my dog and I exchange worried glances] Dog: I guess I could protect you? Me: dude you've been in one fight in your life and that was with a blanket 12:57 PM 26 Jul 2018
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  • 14
    Text - The Great Stoned Dragon Follow @KickSumHunibuns CAMEL 1: Hey can u hold this for me for one sec? CAMEL 2: I would but I kinda have a lot on my back right now... CAMEL 1: It's one straw Marvin don't be like that 9:37 AM 25 Jul 2018
  • 15
    Text - Laurazepam Follow @andlikelaura Me: hey cat you being a good girl? Cat: Praise Beelzebub Me: what? Cat: meow 5:53 AM 27 Jul 2018 >
  • 16
    Text - S.I. Rosenbaum Follow @sirosenbaum this evening I passed a bodega cat outside a store and someone explained she (the cat) was just coming from the other bodega around the corner where she works during the day. That's right times are so tough even the bodega cat has two jobs 11:08 PM 26 Jul 2018 from Queens, NY
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  • 17
    Text - Annie Hatfield Follow @HatfieldAnne These birds at my feeder. None of them have a plan. 6:01 AM 25 Jul 2018
  • 18
    Text - L aure m Follow @LLW90210 all the smol things cat paws toe beans 8:33 AM 24 Jul 2018

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