Favorite

19 Dark-Humored Amazon Reviews That Are Impressively Descriptive

These people really let themselves go for these wildly imaginative, hilarious Amazon reviews! Continue reading for some unexpected dark humor. 

Share
Tweet
Stumble
Pin It
Email
  • 1
    amazon review about womens pensThis review is from: Bic For Her Medium Ballpoint Pen Black, Box of 12 (Office Product) My husband has never allowed me to write, as he doesn't want me touching mens pens. However when I saw this product, I decided to buy it (using my pocket money) and so far it has been fabulous! Once I had learnt to write, the feminine colour and the
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 2
    amazon review about pocket knife Changed my life, May 27, 2014 By Kristi This review is from: Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant (Tools & Home Improvement) Received this knife as a gift for my 18th birthday. Wish I'd have known what it was because as soon as I touched it, I grew a mustache and became a Navy Seal. Mom fainted and my dad laughed and handed me a beer. I was born a girl Minus 2 stars
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 3
    amazon review about Mouse - Works Great!, November 13, 2012 By LooseSeal Verified Purchase (What's this?) This review is from: Nexus Silent Wired Mouse SM-8500 (Personal Computers) My girlfriend and I were on the verge of breaking up because I would keep her awake at night with my constant mouse clicking. NOT ANYMORE! Consider this relationship saved This mouse is so silent she will sometimes forget I'm even home and invite her lover ov
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 4
    amazon review about BROWN SEAWEED 90 capsules 500mg kad oni *Amazing, 27 Nov. 2015 By Alex This review is from: MODIFILAN Pure Brown Seaweed Extract 500mg 90 Capsules (Personal Care) Amazing I give this to my cat and it cure him of the autism Also, since eating this product with meal 3 x day no more house ghosts XTRACT
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 5
    amazon review about lift-the-flap book a karen katz Belly Button? J.JJ DO NOT buy this book, you can SEE the ending right on the cover!, April 19, 2012 Вy РaсМan This review is from: Where Is Baby's Belly Button? A Lift-the-Flap Book (Board book) This book is completely misleading. The entire plot revolves around finding Baby's belly button; the title makes this much clear from the beginning. However, there is no mystery. There is no twist. Baby's belly button
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 6
    amazon review about waterproof kindle case The e hoping it'd be crap, her kindle would slip out and electrocute her, 3 July 2015 By Ben Harrison Verified Purchase (What is this?) This review is from: WMA Blue Amazon Kindle Waterproof Case Cover Protective Bag Pouch Got this for the Mother in-law for bath time, hoping it'd be crap, her kindle would slip out and electrocute her. So far, this bloody thing is staying in one piece. Great for waterpr
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 7
    amazon review about Microsoft Windows95 PC only For distribution with a new PC only For product support, contact the manufacturer of your PC Upgraded to Windows 95 from Windows 8, March 20, 2014 By Brenden This review is from: Microsoft Windows 95 (CD-ROM) I upgraded to Windows 95 from Windows 8. Before in Windows 8 I had to go to the ginormous start screen to launch a program on the desktop, but now in Windows 95, there is a start menu that makes launching progra
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 8
    amazon review about Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care) Makes my farts sound louder. The hair must have acted as a interlocking silencer.. I give this the big thumbs up. 5/5 Veet FOR MEN GEL CREMA DEPILATORIO PIELES NORMALES RAPIDO Y EFICAZ PARA USO CORPORAL
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 9
    amazon review about THE WOLF OF WALL STREET There are no wolves in the movie - 6 May 2016 By Shiva P. This review is from: The Wolf of Wall Street (Blu-ray) There were no wolves in the movie
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 10
    amazon review about UFO Detector Internal magnetometer interfaced with microcontroller for 24 hour/7 days a week monitoring for magnetic anomalies that have been reported with many UFO sightings (Electronics) I don't know if this is a scam or if mine was broken, but it doesn't work and I am still getting abducted by UFO's on a regular basis.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 11
    amazon review about A plain-English guide to grammar UK Edition English Grammar DUMMIES FOR Learn to: .Get down to basics with the rules of English grammar Improve your writing and verbal communication skills Brush up on your proofreading abilities Improve your academic performance and results is the best book!, May 14, 2005 By Nikolai Krestinsky This review is from: English Grammar For Dummies (Paperback) When i first come to America, my english did cau
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 12
    amazon review about Cable - Great cable, but too fast., June 23, 2008 By Matt Sidor This review is from: Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable (Discontinued by Manufacturer) (Electronics) Transmission of music data at rates faster than the speed of light seemed convenient, until I realized I was hearing the music before I actually wanted to play it. Apparently Denon forgot how accustomed most of us are to unidirectional time and the general laws of physics. I tried to ge
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 13
    amazon review about banana slicer Saved my marriage, July 30, 2012 By Mrs Toledo What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone.... this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 14
    amazon review about RADIOACTIVE CONTENT URANIUM ORE ACTIVITY: 984 CPM Great Product, Poor Packaging, May 14, 2009 By Patrick J. McGovern This review is from: Uranium Ore I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Y
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 15
    amazon review about Star Wars: Battlefront Deluxe Edition PlayStation 4 (Video Game) Congratulations EA. You earned one star. Additional stars can be purchased for $5.49 each
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 16
    amazon review about glitter Great For more then just Arts and Crafts, February 14, 2014 By Brian Spatz Verified Purchase (What's this?) This review is from: Creative Arts by Charles Leonard Glitter, 16 oz. (1 Lb.) Bottle, Multi-Color (41100) (Office Product) So I wake up in the middle of the night in my 2 bedroom apartment. I find me roommate passed out face down on the wooden floor. I think nothing of it an
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 17
    amazon review about meditation pyramid 6' Buddha Maitreya the Christ Copper Meditation Pyramid System for Healing Polished Copper Connectors with 4 Inch Capstone (Health and Beauty) This tent was missing its stakes, tarp, and fly cover. I had to cover it in vines and leaves for my camping trip, and I got soaked overnight when it rained. Coincidentally, my hepatitis is gone now.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 18
    amazon review about haribo gummi bears Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN! First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So go
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 19
    amazon review about penguin mask I wear this mask to sing lullabies to my children ..., 24 May 2015 By Sir Chubs Verified Purchase (What is this?) This review is from: Overhead Rubber Penguin Mask Happy Feet Animal Fancy Dress (Toy) I wear this mask to sing lullabies to my children. They are terrified of the mask. Whenever they protest about their bed time, or ask for too many sweets, I whip on the mask, and they soon know who is the King Penguin.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Share
Tweet
Stumble
Pin It
Email

Next on FAIL Blog

Ryan Reynolds And Chris Hemsworth Joke About Trading Superhero Characters
Comments - Click to show - Click to hide