29 Mom Catchphrases That Are Relatable AF

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Aug 19, 2018 6:00 PM EDT

Moms don't have time to come up with a new thing to say, so they have a few golden stand-bys. You may recognize a few of these.

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  • 01
    Text - Wiskerbiscuitlove 43.3k points 2 days ago 1 ed "Annnnnd We're off like a herd of turtles"! Everytime we left the driveway. Every. Single. Time.
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  • 02
    Text - Cayne912 29.5k points 1 day ago edited 1 day ago "I'm not sleeping I'm just resting my eyes"
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  • 03
    Text - ArcadiaXYZ 5.6k points 2 days ago "I made you, i can just as easily destroy you"
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  • 04
    Text - my_future_wife 5.4k points 2 days ago "Watch your mouth or Ill goose your balloon knot."
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  • 05
    Text - kaceyn_ 27.5k points 2 days ago "You JUST ate"
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  • 06
    Text - little_calico 21.6k points 2 days ago Know what I mean, jellybean?
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  • 07
    Text - VictorBlimpmuscle 19.6k points 2 days ago "You'll never guess what your father did this time." Dad's always pulling shit, and mom can never wait to recount his latest act of what is usually brash stupidity.
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  • 08
    Text - IncompleteInsecure 19.7k points 1 day ago . edited 1 When looking for something mom told us to find, and we either legitimately couldn't find it, or we were being lazy: "If I find it, I'm going to beat you with it." We had a good childhood, though.
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  • 09
    Text - Buttowskie 9.8k points 2 days ago "Stop that crying or i'll give you something to cry about"
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  • 10
    Text - AWildEnglishman 9.6k points 1 day ago edited 1 day ago "Might as well slit me own throat", usually said after a mild inconvenience like being told she couldn't have a cup of tea prior to a medical scan.
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  • 11
    Text - etymologynerd 9.2k points 2 days ago edited 1 day ago She has so many, and I dunno why this is the one that comes up first in my mind, but she always says "if you can't open it, you don't deserve it." This phrase (which sounds a bit more whimsical in the original Serbian) goes for everything from bags of chips to those plastic packages school supplies come in. She shows no mercy when something's really hard to unwrap or pry apart. I have subsequently gotten very good at opening hard-to-op
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  • 12
    Text - 1 day ago calinaxoxo 8.6k points "Are you drinking enough water?" Headache? Drink more water. Upset stomach? Drink water. Bad grades? You need more water. Bone protruding from your knee? Drink some water, you'll be fine
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  • 13
    Text - vmlm 8.2k points 1 day ago "Wait! This bit's poisoned!" Said every time she walked past me, while I was eating something; then promptly followed by her grabbing the "poisoned" bit of whatever I was eating and eating it herself. She did this everyday while I lived under her roof. She still does it every time I visit or we go out for dinner.
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  • 14
    Text - -eDgAR- 7.3k points 2 days ago English is my mom's second language so there are certain things that she gets mixed up. My favorite thing she does that I find incredibly endearing is her saying, "The welcome" instead of "You're welcome." I have even started using it with my friends and they use it too.
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  • 15
    Text - edited FluffensteinsMonster 18.9k points 1 day ago "Go now or forever rest in pee" before any long car trip Edit: It was definitely forever hold your pee, I was both high and sleepy when I commented.
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  • 16
    Text - LittleBupBoy 6.8k points 1 day ago "Finesse, not force" I have to admit over the years it's helped me step back and take a breath before I end up breaking something to shit in frustration.
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  • 17
    Text - redmeansdistortion 17.4k points 2 days ago "You're just like your father!" They've been divorced 35 years and I still hear it every so often
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  • 18
    Text - Goldfish_Crackerz 15.2k points 1 day ago English is my mom's second language, so instead of saying "It's my way or the highway" my mom says "My way is the highway."
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  • 19
    Text - 2 days ago unpluggedcord 15.1k points Me: "Something hurts" Her: "That comes ten days before you die"
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  • 20
    Text - dickbryn 13.8k points 2 days ago edited 1 day ago "I can't make you do what I want, but I can make you sorry if you don't." Lady's not unreasonable, but is very skilled at coming up with good punishments and sticking to them
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  • 21
    Text - rubywolf27 13.4k points 2 days ago "We'll see." It's code for "no, but I don't want to listen to you whine about it right now."
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  • 22
    Text - walla_walla_rhubarb 12.6k points 2 days ago edit In a heavy Wisconsin accent, "Well other than that, I don't know much." This is her cue that it's ok for me to say I need to get off the phone now.
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  • 23
    Text - . edited 1 day ago Nimbus-Rose 11.8k points 1 day ago She likes to say "y'all" a lot even though she's a tiny Sri Lankan immigrant. It's my favorite thing.
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  • 24
    Text - LifeOfThePotty 18.9k points 2 days ago "Listen to me now and believe me later."
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  • 25
    Text - ButWhatDoesItAllMean 11.7k points 1 day ago Here are a few nuggets: "you gotta plan your work and work your plan!" - she watches too much Dr Phil I think "I'll slap them into next Tuesday!" - anytime someone gives her flack "I had to give up smoking and drinking for four months while pregnant with you!" She's never smoked and doesn't really drink :) And finally, for nostalgia... Everytime she would take me out shopping when I was young, we'd get back in the car to drive home and she'd loo
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  • 26
    Text - fortheworkmtf 6.1k points 1 day ago "Y'all gonna make me lose my mind up in here." My mother could never resist quoting DMX when we were being bad.
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  • 27
    Text - 2 days ago boblablaugh 17.7k points 1 "If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous" - Mom
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  • 28
    Text - 1 day ago Lone_Ponderer 11.2k points She runs through each of the kids' names before she gets to the one she actually wants to call "Ti-Jaa- Sarah!"
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  • 29
    Text - NettyTheMadScientist 5.8k points 2 days ago "If you're bored it's your own fault" Which is absolutely true.
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