27 Ice Cold Insults to Help You Push Away Everyone in Your Life

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Dec 13, 2018 7:00 PM EST

If you ever wanted to throw some canned shade, here's a backstock of witticisms to sling at your enemies.

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  • 01
    Text - You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 02
    Water - You look like a before picture. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 03
    Sky - wonder if you'd be able to speak more clearly it your parents were second cousins instead of first. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 04
    Cactus - Oh honey, you're not pretty enough to be this stupid. @InsultyDacdy
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  • 05
    Text - Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you. I think you owe it an apology @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 06
    Text - I treasure the time don't spend with you. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 07
    Sky - Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 08
    Sky - Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you? @InsultMdddy
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  • 09
    Text - People don't respect you a lot. But they at least respect you enough to talk shit behind your back. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 10
    Text - Do you realize that people just tolerate you? InsultMeDaddy
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  • 11
    Text - You're about as important as a white crayon. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 12
    Text - Your family tree is a wreath @Insulteddy
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  • 13
    Sky - Why play so hard to get when you're al ready so hard to want. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 14
    Text - You make me wish I had more middle fingers. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 15
    Text - may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 16
    Sky - People like yOu are the reason God doesn't talk to us anymore. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 17
    Text - Over a million sperm, and you were the first one to hit that egg? @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 18
    Text - If I wanted to kill myself l'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 19
    Water - Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 20
    Text - Your gene pool could use a little chlorine. @rult MeDaddy
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  • 21
    Text - I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. @Insu Daddy
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  • 22
    Sky - You're about as useful as a knitted condom. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 23
    Sky - You're not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn't die. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 24
    Text - If you were anymore inbred, you would be a sandwich. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 25
    Text - You look like the kind of person that buys condoms on his way to a family reunion. InsultMeDaddy
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  • 26
    Text - You look like the south end side of a north bound horse. @InsultMeDaddy
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  • 27
    Flower - The best part of you ran down yOur mother's legs @lasblMeDaddy
    via InsultMeDaddy

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