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14 Things You Can Bring to Your Holiday Work Party to Show Them You're Mentally Clocked Out

It's mandatory holiday party season in your workplace and you do not care about these people in the slightest. Here's some ideas to really drive home the fact that they do not matter and you do not want to be there.

Posted by MinWage
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  • 1
    Text - OhiobornCAraised 419 points 2 hours ago Had a potluck on Thanksgiving one year (place I worked at never closes) and a coworker said he would bring yams. He shows up with a large can of yams. Doesn't even bring a can opener. He won the passive aggressive employee of the year award that year.
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    Text - Zerrish 34 points 2 hours ago At my last work Christmas party, one of our (quite socially awkward) math teachers brought beets as his dinner item to share Not cooked or prepared in anyway. Just a bunch of beets, still in that plastic vegetable bag you get from the produce aisle. He was fired soon after. (For unrelated but unsurprising reasons.)
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    Text - thedarkhaze 39 points 2 hours ago The leftover halloween candy.
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    Text - 4 hours ago GomaBoi 441 points A single sleeve of crackers out of a box
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  • 5
    Text - DarthContinent 1.8k points 3 hours ago Anything from a supermarket bakery with an "ON SALE" sticker prominently displayed.
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    Text - GreenStrong 1.4k points 4 hours ago Live lobsters, but no means to cook them. Remove the rubber bands from their claws, and unleash them.
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    Text - 4 hours ago kira3333 568 points Tortilla chips with no dip or the other way around. Ooo a bag of baby carrots in the bag they came in is also a good one. Oo or mini packs of raisins. I think that's the one.
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    Text - 2 hours ago ptapobane 38 points Dollar store immitation crab meat heavily blasted in the office microwave
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    Text - RoryWinnifred 131 points 1 hour ago I once had a co-worker bring 1/3 of a cake from her kid's birthday party. It had HAP Bl written on the half and was Ninja Turtle themed. It was beautiful to see
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    Text - Demonicat 60 points 2 hours ago Dude, they are making you go and making you spend your own money. Forget apathy, you need to worship at the alter of chaos. Bring haribo sugar free gummy bears, in a decorative container. Bring plenty and make sure that they are prominently displayed so as to encourage the most snackage. For maximum enjoyment, next you grab the "out of order" or "cleaning" signs and put them on all close bathrooms. You could certainly stick around for the aftermath, but you
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  • 11
    Text - darlini 23 points 2 hours ago One year someone brought a sausage pizza from Domino's to a breakfast potluck. Clearly it was last nights delivery mistake because the person who brought it was vegetarian
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    Text - nktjk 84 points 4 hours ago Those frosted cookies
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    Text - 54 minutes ago Fogel87767 Score hidden I would always bring Grape Juice. It never even gets opened, and then I take it home, to bring back to the next one
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  • 14
    Text - 3 hours ago doublestitch 56 points Lutefisk. Beam with pride and share the story about how you talked your grandmother into sharing the family recipe brought over from Norway. It has that wonderful personal touch...until they taste it.
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