16 Divorced People Painfully Share What They Should Have Asked Their Ex Before Getting Married

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Eric Lund
Jan 3, 2019 7:00 PM EST

Marriage could be the biggest decision you make in your life. Here's what these people now know what they should've asked, in hindsight.

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  • 01
    Text - 9 hours ago Terriberri877 3.3k points Are you gay? Would've saved me 7years and a bunch of heart ache.
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  • 02
    Text - TheEggplantRunner 1.4k points Are you looking for a wife, or a mother? 6 hours ago Let me tell you, feeling more like a caretaker than a partner is demoralizing. In a much better place now.
    via AskReddit
  • 03
    Text - AngloKiwi 1.2k points 7 hours ago Honestly I don't think it would have mattered what I asked, she still would have lied about it.
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  • 04
    Text - Only_100kcal 993 points 7 hours ago Are you a compulsive liar, narcissist and likely to sleep with anyone that shows the slightest bit interest with no care for how that effects your husband and children? Wouldn't have done any good, she'd have just lied anyway
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  • 05
    Text - edited 15 minutes ago evilcj925 923 points 6 hours ago Would you ever walk on me and our two kids after 13 years together to run off with a guy Literally twice your age to that you meet on the internet, with out saying a word to me or anyone else, on our anniversary?
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  • 06
    Text - i_hate-u 290 points 11 hours ago If she was the devil himself
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  • 07
    Text - lastorderstime 258 points 5 hours ago Do you know that childcare works both ways? Like, you're a father, you need to be involved. You can't just come home from work and berate me for not having a meal on the table.
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  • 08
    Text - 6rOut 228 points 12 hours ago Are you an undiagnosed clinical psychopath?
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  • 09
    Text - HalfwitWithAStutter 246 points 6 hours ago I (foolishly) got married after 6 months before my ex wife's true personality and traits came out. In hindsight, I should have talked more about how she viewed the husband/wife dynamic, where she saw us in 10, 20, 30 years, and definitely should have paid attention to her parents' marriage. I should have delved more into finances and what her opinions were on spending versus saving too. Why? I didn't want a housewife, or someone who was fine sett
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  • 10
    Text - MeerkatOutlaw 239 points 7 hours ago Marry someone that respects your opinion. Everyone wants to feel valued and heard. Observe their actions over time and you will have your answer. I wish I had observed how little she actually valued my opinion; and how much her parents' wishes influenced her decisions. When a person makes decisions based solely on someone else's or their own desires and gives little to no weight to your feelings on the matter, that person is not the right one to enter
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  • 11
    Text - 6 hours ago BarzTheOrange 185 points "What do you expect to change once we are married?" For me, the answer was not much. We already lived together and had a kid together. For her... Lots of things that she apparently thought were obvious but did not communicate. A brief example: a month before we got married I was driving two hours out of town for a company meeting and met with an old college friend (female, no romantic history) for lunch. No objections from the fiance. A few months afte
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  • 12
    Text - Judoka229 134 points 7 hours ago I would have asked her if she was okay being married to the military. She needed to be okay with all the time away from home. The long hours, the late nights, being posted with other women at work, having friends of all races and gender, etc. Basically, my wife thought she was okay with being married and getting that sweet tri-care insurance, but she wasn't okay with any other aspect of it. So her cheating on me and divorcing me after we had a baby was act
    via AskReddit
  • 13
    Text - cysgr8 776 points 7 hours ago Not really ask my spouse, but ask myself... Am i settling? "this will be fine" is not enough
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  • 14
    Text - DDLGABDL_fanatic 116 points6 hours ago "Do you want kids?" No idea how it didn't come up beforehand, though we did kinda rush into our marriage to begin with. I never really gave it much thought. I figured having kids was something that had to happen at some point in your marriage. That it was essentially a requirement. I never really wanted them, but everyone would tell me "you'll change your mind when you're older/get married/settle down." I even convinced myself that I'd change my mind
    via AskReddit
  • 15
    Text - vermin1000 113 points 4 hours ago Are you going to put animals before people in this marriage? Are you a pet hoarder? Seriously got weirder and weirder. It became a living hell. At her height she had 1 horse, 4 cats, 2 dogs, a bunny and some fish. All living in a sub-1000sqft home. Except for the horse, it was boarded elsewhere for about 1/3rd the price of my mortgage. So many false promises about taking care of the animals, or about just fostering them. She once told me she had already p
    via AskReddit
  • 16
    Text - RabbiMoshie 72 points 5 hours ago Are you SURE you're not still in love with that guy from college?
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