16 People Share Their Most Irrational (And Hilarious) Childhood Fears

Author image for Ada Elder
Ada Elder
Feb 19, 2019 1:00 PM EST

We already know that kids say the darndest things, but this Twitter thread proves that they fear the darndest things, too. Loads of users replied to @DanielleSchwartzzz's entertaining thread with their hilarious anecdotes - even author Neil Gaimangot in on the fun. It's not really a surprise that his fears would be unorthodox, but damn, we got a kick out of what gives munchkins anxiety. If you like what you see here, peep the rest of the confessions here.

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  • 01
    Text - Dana Schwartz @DanaSchwartzzz What was your weirdest irrational fear as a child? For a period I was TERRIFIED that someone would sneak a pill into my food that would make me seem dead temporarily, and thenl would be buried alive.
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 02
    Text - Jax Dell'Osso @funnygirljax CAI Replying to @DanaSchwartzzz Had a recurring nightmare that this 5- foot blow-up dinosaur my brother had would come to life and eat me in my sleep. I dreamt it every night and would wake up paralyzed w night terrors. It felt so real so one day I went in his room and popped it with safety scissors
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 03
    Text - Jenn #JKGAMES [PG][TK] @JellicleKitten KGAMES Replying to @DanaSchwartzzz Being kidnapped. And I'm just realizing how neurotic I was about it because I can remember making it a point to pul out strands of hair and leaving them in places other people knew I was at that day, so genetic testing could track me. Ihad very little understanding of CSI obvs
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 04
    Text - liam @male_hawkeye Replying to @DanaSchwartzzz One time I discovered my basement was flooding in a bad storm. My dad told me to go back to bed cuz he'd take care of it.I couldn't sleep cuz l was afraid the house would fill with water and then someone would pour jello mix down the chimney and I die solidified in Jello.
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 05
    Text - Lincoln Michel@TheLincoln 1d Replying to @DanaSchwartzzz ON-OH Jumping off a diving board and being sprung extremely high in the air and crashing down on the sidewalk and breaking all the bones in my body t3 11 535
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 06
    Text - Maddi @MaddiB_ Replying to @DanaSchwartzzz Ihad a room in the basement where it was quite dark. I always had a fear that if I sneezed at night while I was alone, I would hear a mysterious voice say "bless you" 5:52 PM 2/17/19 Twitter Web App
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 07
    Text - My mother had to sing "when the bough breaks, the cradle WON'T fall.", or I'd be terrified & couldn't sleep. Even did a drawing about it decades later: "When the Bough Breaks 1989", pencil on paper
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 08
    Text - Alissa @alinthearchives Replying to @DanaSchwartzzz For too long I would not get in elevators with pregnant women. Iwas CONVINCED we would become trapped and they would go into labor and I-A CHILD-would have to deliver the baby. Thanks for that trauma, Alf and Saved by the Bell.
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 09
    Text - Sam Luks @scluks Replying to @soapachu and @DanaSchwartzzz If you grew up in the 70s, the greatest dangers were the Bermuda Triangle, quicksand, and sharks - all of which were constant threat to me as a child in Indiana
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 10
    Text - Rachel Klein @racheleklein 1d Replying to @DanaSchwartzzz I was POSITIVE that a witch (Yes specifically a witch) would kill me while I was on the toilet. At least at home, I went to the bathroom w/the door open for a LOOOONG time (I knew she wouldn't come if someone else could see her) 20 299 Theo Lorenz @TheoNicole 1d I had a similar bathroom fear, except it was aliens instead of a witch, and I was convinced they'd come up through the toilet. Keeping the bathroom door open also deterred
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 11
    Text - Jen T. @stuffjenlikes Replying to @TheoNicole @racheleklein and @DanaSchwartzzz I was convinced that there was a vampire living in my grandfather's toilet who would get me if I was still in the bathroom when it finished flushing. He only lived in that toilet, though
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 12
    Text - Noelle Stevenson @Gingerhazing Replying to @DanaSchwartzzz thought the dump truck was going to take my dog away. I had a very intense fear of dog catchers and very little idea of what a dog catcher was 5:43 PM 2/17/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 13
    Text - Gabe @GabeCripe Replying to @DanaSchwartzzz was scared that someone had invented invisible cars but I didn't know about it yet so l couldn't cross the street 5:37 PM 2/17/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 14
    Text - Kirt Ethridge @WriterKirt Replying to @DanaSchwartzzz That I would fall down the stairs in my elementary school gym and my head would smash open like a watermelon. I was so petrified that my teacher put "hold Kirt's hand on the gym stairs" on our chore chart
    via @DanaSchwartzzz
  • 15
    Text - Neil Gaiman @neilhimself Replying to @DanaSchwartzzz My parents moving house while I was at school and forgetting to tell me about it. I'd go home to an empty house and have to live there as best l could. Until the new family moved in.
    via @neilhimself

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twitter fear kids creative neil gaiman imagination funny tweets funny children
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