Burning Paper of the Day: The Constitution, Which Burns Ad Nauseam in The Daily Show Yule Log
Ah, the yule log, is there anything better to cozy up to on a cold wintry night?
Not even a real fireplace could compare. After all, there’s no way to change the channel on a fireplace.
Well, I’ll give you this: One of the great things about a real fireplace is that you can actually burn something in it. Whether it’s a false ledger you use to evade your taxes, your medical records, or a written confession to a crime, nothing purifies you body and soul like a nice, cleansing fire.
So in the spirit of giving you something to burn, the folks over at The Daily Show have given you the next best thing: A burning constitution over Christmas carols and the dulcet tones of that reality TV gameshow host who won the presidency last month delivering some of his famous catchphrases, like “we’re going to be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again” and “bing bing bong bong.” Five-hours of Christmas cheer. Oh, it feels great to say that again: "Christmas." Remember when saying “Christmas” was punishable by death?
So put your arm around that special someone, take a sip of cocoa, and get ready for 2017 because, hoo, boy, it’s going to be a lot worse than this piece of garbage year.
