Eyeopener of the Day: There's Such a Thing as Caffeinated Peanut Butter

Folks, today is a great day. For today, we discovered that caffeinated peanut butter is a product that exists.

I know, we're excited as well.

Massachusetts-based business Steem looked deep within the global consciousness and saw there the desire, nay the need, for a delicious snack that gives us the stout energy to eat more delicious snacks.

And delivered caffeine-filled peanut butter into the world.

Here's how they describe the product:

STEEM is caffeinated peanut butter. What else do we need to say? STEEM is designed to provide a consistent release of sustained energy and the naturally slow digestion of peanut butter is the key to that. STEEM delivers protein, electrolytes, and caffeine, granting you hours of endurance and focus, and freeing you from distractions like hunger and fatigue.

STEEM is made with natural peanut butter, and no artificial sweeteners. Oh, and as much caffeine as two cups of coffee, so stick with the normal serving suggestions for the best effect. Enjoy it however you would normally enjoy peanut butter: spread it on crackers, toast or fruit; re-acquaint yourself with the simple perfection of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich; or just jam a knife or a spoon or a finger into the jar and eat it like you do when no one's looking. Yes you do. Yes, you do.

You can only buy it around the Northeast or online off their website.

It goes for $4.99 a jar, which is actually a pretty good deal for one of the greatest ideas ever conceived.

They do get wicked serious about who should not enjoy this genius product.

DO NOT GIVE TO ANIMALS. EVER. Fun fact: a lot of domestic animals, like dogs and cats and birds, cannot digest caffeine properly and it can lead to SERIOUS health issues. We know that your dog loves peanut butter and we know you think it'd be hilarious to get him all jacked up and crazy, BUT DON'T. SERIOUSLY. IT WOULD NOT BE HILARIOUS.

So, with that in might, we will prepare our fingers for maximum peanut butter plunging.

Thank you, Steem. You're doing the lord's work, here. STEEM = PEOPLE FOOD.