This Dude Has Been Trying to Use a Dong as His Official Signature for Five Years

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Five years ago, Jared Hyams thought it'd be funny to use a crude drawing of a peen as his signature on a voting change of address form, but the government wasn't having it. That's when the fun/struggle began:

"It sparked something in me. I didn't understand if these people were offended or had taken it personally."

Hyams was inspired to pursue a law degree, which he will complete later this year, and started trying to use the peen-ature on all of his official documents: passport, driver's license, and proof of age card. The government continued to reject his John Hancock, saying it was a frivolous waste of taxpayer's money, both obscene and too easy to forge. 

Hyams is still fighting these decisions, and has so far somehow managed to get the schlong on his license, proof of age card, and his health insurance card. He's also opened a bank account and gotten a library card. According to Hyams, it's all worth doing for the principle of the thing:

What a signature is comes down to the function, not the actual form. Generally, it's a person putting a mark on a piece of paper by their own hand. As soon as you start defining what a signature is you run into problems - if it's meant to be someone's name how do we define that because most signatures are just illegible scribble.

Dong on, dude.

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