50-year-old mom moves in with 32-year-old son because she only has $200 a month after paying bills and debt: 'How do I do this without feeling guilty?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 4, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

It's very common for parents to move in with their adult children when they can't afford to live on their own. This type of arrangement doesn't work for all families, especially when the parents and their kids aren't particularly close, and they're only interacting with them because they have nowhere else to turn. If you have a close relationship with your family, multigenerational living can strengthen that bond. It can help divide the household labor more evenly, so one adult isn't the only one taking care of everything. Living with family is also safer for elderly people who need someone to help them with everyday tasks. It allows grandchildren to spend a lot of time with their grandparents. There are numerous benefits, but it's often stigmatized as a last resort. In the case of this mom and son duo, it's certainly a last resort, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

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  • The mother in this story is unable to care for herself. She only has $200 every month after the bills and debt are paid, and that is not enough to live off of. Her son makes three times what she does and has offered to let her stay with him, but she has her hesitations.

  • Moving in With Adult Child who Makes 3 times my salary.

    I am finding it hard to make it on my paycheck with the way things are going now. My adult child offered to let me move in with them and pay X amount per month. I currently only have
    via u/LBell_L4Stenosis
  • about $200 a month left after paying debts and medical stuff, so anything unexpected wipes me out and digs my hole deeper. I would have about $800 a month left if I moved in with my child.
    via u/LBell_L4Stenosis
  • How do I do this without feeling guilty? I'm the adult and should be able to make it on my own. I always see where adult children move back in with their parents, not the other way around. And guidance for how to handle this? Thank you.
    via u/LBell_L4Stenosis
  • Cheezburger Image 10538404864
    via A. C. (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Final_Journalist_186 I've been trying to get my parents to move in with me for years. Your child would rather you be comfortable and safe than stressed and homeless.
    via u/Final_Journalist_186
  • BigAl265 I've been trying to get my elderly father to move in with me and my family for years, but he refuses. He's broke, scraping by on SSI. He just sits there alone all day, watching reruns on whatever OTA channel his antenna will pick up. I don't understand it, I'd be so touched to know my kids loved me enough to want to take care of me in my old age, but he wants none of it.
    via u/BigAl265
  • vinsane38 He probably is touched, but pride is in the way
    via u/vinsane38
  • Cheezburger Image 10538420992
    via Wade Austin Ellis

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • xtothewhy Don't be surprised but there is always fear. ... of losing control of choices, of losing privacy, of losing decision making to some extent and then fear of change because they don't know what's going to happen next. It can come off as pride sometimes. These are human beings with desires and hopes and dreams, even though they may be quieter now and not as
    via u/xtothewhy
  • Bobmcguire This so much. My mom (65) moved in with me and we are currently going through this struggle. She makes nothing but her Canada Pension and Old Age Pension, and the word "control" has been used by her many times at this point. I know it's a struggle for her because she's scared and trying to figure out what the last chapter of her
    via u/Bobmcguire
  • life is now, and sometimes that turns to lashing out. Meanwhile I'm trying to support both of us myself and try maintain myself and understand when she does lash out. People underestimate how scared seniors are to move into a situation like this, even if someone younger on the outside sees the move as a clear betterment of their current living situation.
    via u/Bobmcguire
  • Iron-Fist Multigenerational housing has been the norm forever. It is a blessing to have such a strong relationship with your children.
    via u/Iron-Fist
  • Cheezburger Image 10538423296
    via Fellipe Ditadi (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • church-basement-lady The fact that you're hesitant is a pretty big indicator that you've been the kind of parent who deserves this. Just be a good roommate - do your part with cooking and cleaning. Use the opportunity to save and get yourself in a better position. You've got a great kid - best you can do is let them help you and be appreciative.
    via u/church-basement-lady
  • Ok8850 This. There are other ways to give to a household. Cooking and cleaning are a huge help.
    via u/Ok8850
  • BusinessLetterhead47 My dad and stepmom came to visit us for a few weeks when my son was young (we live overseas). My husband and I were like, "God can they just move in forever?" It was honestly so great for everyone. The house was always clean, there was a cooking roster, son was sooooo loved and cared for. My folks did their own thing but we would all meet for dinner/travel on weekends etc.
    via u/BusinessLetterhead47
  • YourVelcroCat Exactly; op is likely being invited to live with their child because they've been a loving parent who the child can trust in their house as an adult. OP, don't hesitate. I can't imagine my mom or dad. being on the street out of pride. This is what the village is for.
    via u/YourVelcroCat
  • Sh.-idk Im 31. Make 3 times what my mother makes. And am literally trying to find a house with a MIL suite or detached garage for this exact reason. So my mom doesn't have to worry about scraping by every month.
    via u/Sh**-idk
  • Ya_habibti That's the dream. Close by still have walls between us.
    via u/Ya_habibti
  • Tripstrr Done it twice. Once to infill a detached garage and second time we built it into our house plans - shared a roof line but you walk through an external patio to access or through the side yard which we made nice.
    via u/Tripstrr
  • Raising kids, it's made all the difference having space for our moms to come stay and be comfortable. My MIL now stays with us full time. At one point my FIL did until he passed. Our kids get a special relationship with their grandparents and we get to help them as they age with health care needs.
    via u/Tripstrr
  • BoysenberryParking96 Hey there, the best thing you can do is be grateful, and remember, it's not your house. I don't say this to be mean, ride, or belittle you! As a child who did this for a parent, our situation quickly turned toxic. To be fair, my mother was an overbearing b , so that probably didn't help lol. But she fell back into the habit of treating it as if it was HER house.
    via u/BoysenberryParking96
  • It was her houses in that—yes, she lived there. I didn't expect her to act like a guest! But she tried to tell me how to cook, clean, manage my life, criticize what I was wearing, you get the picture. Love your adult child. Be grateful and help out other ways if you want to like doing the dishes. No child grew up to enjoy doing the dishes lol. They likely aren't going to expect it, so just keeping your space neat and tidy is enough.
    via u/BoysenberryParking96
  • You will always be the parent. That's a given. No one expects you to stop, just try to keep it in check. I hope that makes sense! I'm sorry I'm not very good at explaining things, but I hope it gives you some perspective. It sounds like your child is able to do this for you, and more importantly that they want to. It sounds like they have an immense amount of love for you. Cherish that.
    via u/BoysenberryParking96
  • PossumJenkinsSoles Yes, I also had the experience of my mom moving into my home and feeling like...I don't know, she immediately regressed into being a mother to a 17 year old girl instead of a 27 year old woman. She really never broke some habits like questioning me when I was out late or gasp didn't come home until the next morning. Dishes had to be where she wanted them. Stupid things like that. It didn't ruin my relationship with my mom, but I was relieved when she was able to move out. We g
    via u/PossumJenkinsSoles

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housing kids mother money problems reddit story parenting bills family moving reddit thread Reddit mom adult children money son parents
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