"I couldn’t figure out why the fabric felt wet but he’s got the thread running through his teeth as I sew. Gross"
"Responded to some late-night screaming from the cat. Turns out her dry food was all pushed up against the sides of the bowl and she’s out of wet food. Obvious crisis."
"I am chaos. You want things pretty? Not in my house."
"Found a nice warm spot to sit on."
"Two vandals broke one of the flower pots in my driveway this morning. Bet they didn't realise I have CCTV"
Because why not chew on this thread spool?
"My cat used the stairs when the primer was drying. Years later the paw print is still there."
"Pico de Gallo is angry because we know she keeps hogging her moms milk from her siblings.
"Asshole escapes from house and gets stuck - then demands to be rescued immediately!"
"My sister is babysitting my cat, Benny. He’s very demanding."
"Just trying to get a little work done here..."