60-year-old sister gets angry that her 73-year-old brother left his estate to his 71-year-old 'roommate' after he passed away: 'They lived together for 45 years.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 8, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Could she not put two and two together?

We've all heard stories of historical figures or family members who lived with their "best friend" of the same gender for decades and decades throughout the 19th or 20th century. I'm not saying every single one of these best friend life-partnerships are secretly gay couples. Still, a great deal of them are, and they're using the facade of being besties to avoid homophobia, either within their families or in society at large or both. In many families where an auntie and her "best friend" come to Thanksgiving every year, there's an understanding among most family members that they're more than best friends, but this is never discussed. Sometimes, the best friends are insistent enough about their relationship being strictly platonic that the family is split over whether they're actually just friends. Still, if two people of the same gender have lived together for forty years, I'd put the house on the theory that they aren't just incredibly compatible roommates. You don't have to have a finely tuned gaydar to figure that out, and you'd think that people would understand their own siblings well enough to tell if they're gay or not.

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  • Two elderly men are enjoying coffee together
    via Yunus Tuğ (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The sister in this story clearly was not paying attention to what her brother and his roommate were up to during their 45-year cohabitation. When her brother left his estate to his roommate (basically confirming that they were more than roommates), she was outraged that she didn't get any of the money.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my mom that she’s being unreasonable?

    My(31M) uncle(73) passed away, leaving everything to his roommate (71M). My mom(60) is still very upset about this.
    via u/Ok-Growth-7745
  • She has been for a month now, saying there must have been some sort of undue influence.
    via u/Ok-Growth-7745
  • I told her that they lived together for 45 years; there's nothing weird about the will because of that.
    via u/Ok-Growth-7745
  • Two older men are having a friendly conversation on outdoor patio
    via Yunus Tuğ (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He can leave his money and stuff to whoever he wants. But then my mom said she'll contest it.
    via u/Ok-Growth-7745
  • She kept asking me to talk to my friend who's a lawyer to see if he knows anyone who specializes in this field so I told her she's being unreasonable.
    via u/Ok-Growth-7745
  • Man in black crew neck shirt wearing black framed eyeglasses
    via Usman Yousaf

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She got very angry at me. My dad said I shouldn't judge her when she's still struggling with the loss of her brother.
    via u/Ok-Growth-7745
  • squirtlemoonicorn Oh dear.... did Mum not realise that her brother was gay? "Room mate" = partner. Uncle left his estate to his life partner. Definitely NTA.
    via u/squirtlemoonicorn
  • OP Ok-Growth-7745 There were moments when I wanted to ask 'Just roommates?' But in the end I never did. Just left it as an assumption.
    via u/Ok-Growth-7745
  • AtmosphereOk7872 They lived together for how long? Uh huh, roommates, sure there bud...
    via u/AtmosphereOk7872
  • OP Ok-Growth-7745 Yeah, I just left myself a tiny margin of error. Was wrong about someone being gay once already. Don't want to risk making the same mistake twice.
    via u/Ok-Growth-7745
  • West_House_2085 His roommate or his partner/SO/husband? In any case your mother's being an asshole. Judge her! She wants to fuck someone else over in THEIR grief!! OP, NTA
    via u/West_House_2085
  • OP Ok-Growth-7745 I've had the feeling that they might be more than what they said they were. Never asked or got any confirmation though.
    via u/Ok-Growth-7745
  • FeuerroteZora Uh...I think the inheritance WAS the confirmation, you're just not seeing it yet.
    via u/FeuerroteZora
  • OP Ok-Growth-7745 It's just that I've incorrectly assumed someone's orientation before. So this time I left myself just a very small margin of error. You know, just in case.
    via u/Ok-Growth-7745
  • shelwood46 Assume yes unless otherwise disproved. Your uncle had someone who loved him for 45 years, that's amazing and should be celebrated.
    via u/shelwood46
  • OP Ok-Growth-7745 You're right. It is amazing.
    via u/Ok-Growth-7745
  • Jerseygirl2468 NTA Clearly the roommate was your uncle's life partner of more than 4 decades, so yeah, Mom needs to back off. She can try to contest it if she wants, but I can't see how it would be anything other than a waste of money. My great aunt had a "roommate" like that after her husband's death. Sometimes stories like this are a nice reminder of the progress society has made, even if it doesn't always feel that way.
    via u/Jerseygirl2468
  • Illustrious-Horse276 Roommate.. more likely partner. She needs to back off. NTA.
    via u/Illustrious-Horse276
  • GothPenguin She's struggling with her sense of entitlement not her loss or she wouldn't be threatening to contest the will. Sorry for your loss. NTA
    via u/GothPenguin
  • Happy_Confection90 Back in college, one of my friends had a grandmother who couldn't bring herself to call her son's live- in lover his boyfriend (pre-gay marriage being legal, ftr). But she adored the hell out of his "roommate" and made sure he was included at every family gathering and had gifts to open at Christmas.
    via u/Happy_Confection90
  • AlphaBreak At that point, even if they aren't "life partners", they're still life partners.
    via u/AlphaBreak

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family drama inheritance brother partnership siblings reddit story partners uncle family sibling sister estate reddit thread Reddit mom nephew money
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