Guy Asks If He Should Press Charges for Step Daughter Putting Him $60,000 in Debt

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Jul 22, 2019 2:00 PM EDT

Holy crap, how do you even get in a situation like this? We've seen people want to disown their sister, but this is an even bigger piece of family drama. And what are you gonna do? Send your step-daughter to prison? Is that even the right thing to do? Defrauding your parents into debt is a terrible move, but how many lives do you wanna ruin here? All in all, this isn't a fun situation to be in.

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  • 01
    Text - r/AmItheAsshole u/throwaway10614261 14 hours ago AITA for pressing charges on my Daughter for Fraud? Me and my wife recently found out that her daughter (my step-daughter, though I consider her close enough to my own after having raised her for 18 years) has taken out about $60,000 in loan debt under our name, without our permission. For some basic context, she took out a Parent Plus Loan for school, under our name and social security number, without asking us. In her first semester of he
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  • 02
    Text - paperwork for her, since her school's loans were only for about $5000 for the whole year. We explained that we didn't have the financial means to take out a loan for the amount she was requesting; about $14,000 a year, but offered to help her find scholarships or work-study, and other ways to potentially help her cover her costs. After me and her applied for about 5-10 scholarships, and she got a part-time job, she never came back to me and my wife with any financial aid concerns again, s
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  • 03
    Text - couple times, but every time we'd ask, she'd just say that she was able to cover it all, and didn't need any help with it or anything Come us, a couple years down the road. We've gotten a letter from the Department of Education saying that 'our' loan has gone into default, and has been so for about a year at this point. We reach out to her school and, after a little bit of digging, we discover that after we had told her "no" on the loan, she had gone around our back and applied for it all
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  • 04
    Text - went through just fine, since she had the correct Social Security Numbers and all. We've spoken with the school and the DoE a fair amount about this already, and we basically have 2 options for this. We can either eat the loan, and pay it all back ourselves (something not at all financially feasible for my family, since we have about $40k in Medical Debt on top of this now), or to go through the state to press charges on each one of the 5 loans she's taken out; each loan being over $10,00
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  • 05
    Text - At this point, I'm not certain what my family *can* do. We don't have the money to be able to pay this loan back, but me and my wife are emotionally wrecked at even the thought of pressing charges against our own daughter. So, here's the important question, reddit: if I press charges here, AITA?
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  • 06
    Text - Edit: Since there's a little bit of confusion, bit of clarification. A Plus Loan is a loan that we would take out in our own name, to give her extra funds for education. Because we would ordinarily be the ones taking it out, she's not involved with the Repayment Process at all; she's not even technically eligible to make payments towards it, since it's under our own name.
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  • 07
    Text - NUTMESHELL Prime Ministurd... 11.2k points 14 hours ago NTA. Your daughter was fully aware that what she did was wrong. She knew what she was doing. I can't imagine that pressing charges would be easy, but it's not fair to let her mistake ruin your financial future.
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  • 08
    Text - bicep123 Colo-rectal Surge... 5.5k points 14 hours ago NTA $60,000 in loan debt under our name, without our permission Theft is theft. That being said, you really ought to post this in r/legaladvice.
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  • 09
    Text - 2.9k points IconOnMyWall | Asshole Enthusi... 14 hours ago Jesus, I know this isn't an advice sub, but speak to a lawyer. She did an incredibly shitty thing, but if hate to participate in making my child a felon. There may be some kind of wiggle room with the DA. Please tell me she at least finished the degree.
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  • 10
    Text - RedNeko 1.8k points 11 hours ago 2 Do not make any payments on these loans as that will be considered acknowledgement of the debt.
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  • 11
    Text - Certified Procto... ] 1.1k points Not TooHungry 14 hours ago NTA. She broke the law, in an unbelievably stupid and reckless way. It's not your fault if she gets in trouble, it's hers. That being said, I can see how hard it would be to have your child go to federal prison. I'm assuming that since she's defaulted, she doesn't have a job? Is she making any effort to pay the loans back?
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terrible wtf drama FAIL debt story family daughter mistake money omg
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