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Clever Tumblr Posts Full Of Sassy Comedy (40 Posts)

If you're in the mood for clever and sassy humor but memes aren't quite cuttin' it at the moment, then Tumblr might be just the thing for you. These silly posts have everything necessary to keep you scrollin' for a while!

Posted by Meeeeesh
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  • 1
    Text - Text - lordelrondtheconsultingdetective Reblog if you don't poop on your friend's shoulder Trying to prove a point to my birds Source: lordelrondtheconsultingdetective
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  • 2
    Text - Text - stripedshortie: just-shower-thoughts: Why don't wheelchairs have pedals for when your arms get tired? b/c your legs don't fucking work what is this
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  • 3
    Text - Text - Imaonade i'm partially glad i'm not rich. if i had an infinite surplus of money i'd have certainly eaten myself to death on white chocolate reese's cups by age 14 rcktpwr so dying a warrior's death means nothing to you?
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  • 4
    Text - Text - THANK YOU FOR YOUR ORDER ORDER #66 WAS SUCCESSFULLY PLACED. You should receive a confirmation email shortly containing your order number and the st panharmonium i just ordered a pizza but i think i unwittingly set the jedi purge in motion help
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  • 5
    Text - Text - more-red-more-blue-more-beer: lyxdelsic: boys unbuckling their belts is the hottest thing in the world tbh i read this as "seat belts" and i was like "no stay safe" 469,963 notes
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  • 6
    Nose - how you bean? frenums: #THAT BEAN LOOKS SO DONE AND IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A FACE 547,379 notes
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  • 7
    Text - Imagine being able to detach your titties before bed.. so you could actually sleep on your stomach. Lol 1000watttwat My dumb ass gon over sleep and forget my tiddies in the morning. grandpaq Keys...walle... damn, my titties
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  • 8
    Text - m86 WARRIORMALE DR PHIL WINSTON 2 MIKEY JEB! 37/72 32/71 32/74 29/73 25/70 dream team moonlandingwasfaked uh? there's no healer Imao m86 wym dr phil is right there
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  • 9
    Text - emporbooty: gamblingemperor: emporbooty: gamblingemperor: 1324 FOLLOWERS IM LAUGHING SO HARD ITS IN ORDER 1324 is not in order Matt ITS 2 AM AND IM NOT EVEN GOOD AT SCIENCE IN THE FIRST PLACE Science
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  • 10
    Text - laughbitches hotboyproblems: i want a hot body but i also want to eat junk food why is life so difficult Source: hotboyproblems 132,897 notes
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  • 11
    Text - just-shower-thoughts You're the bad guy in somebody's story. archonthemanic Pal I'm the bad guy in MY story
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  • 12
    Flower - Poké Balls are round! The world is also round! pokemon-personalities: I feel like we may be on to something
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  • 13
    Text - ugly fuckthekxng Follow fearlessly-fiona "I'm an adult" I whisper as I try not panic while I'm filling in all those forms that I don't understand. Source: beeleebay 415,961 notes
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  • 14
    Darth vader - celloing: kill-la-kel: "May the force be with you" "And also with you" This meme is everything I've ever needed
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  • 15
    Text - Males: Happy birthday bro Females: Its your birthday today, where do I start? We been through so much together, you're beautiful eto..
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  • 16
    Face - vriskater: "everyone get into groups."
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  • 17
    Text - kinkshamer69: honeymoon is an interesting term because an actual moon made of honey would imply space bees which is pretty horrifying
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  • 18
    Hair - VIE Sometimes Iwish was Loki so l'd make everyone just kneel ickyeahderokfeels Interviewere You don't have to be Loki to make me kneel Tom: Ehehehehe Oh. talemontea I love how it took him a moment
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  • 19
    Baseball bat - iswearimnotnaked when it finally gets to your favorite part of a song and someone turns it down
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  • 20
    Text - mackle--less phobias Source: iamvishnu iamvishnu: when people don't shut up about being drunk you did alcohol alcohol award wow dcore so did a normar thing except drunk 244,398 notes
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  • 21
    Face - aenoria: jaclcfrost: if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn't be the main character i'd probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
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  • 22
    Text - Anonymous said: I dreamt that the titanic was found out to be faked for insurance money but I wasn't allowed to tell anyone or my dog would be killed. I don't have a dog one-time-i-dreamt said: and yet you still snitched 1,123 notes
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  • 23
    Text - chavvesty: "i don't care," i say, caringly, as i care deeply Source: chavvesty 380,379 notes
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  • 24
    Text - friendlyneighbourhoodpizzaman: friendlyneighbourhoodpizzaman: Jesus fuck okay so I'm a waitress at this restaurant that's open really late and it's nearly 1am and this family comes in and I'm so tired that I handed their BLIND SON a menu and he's like "ah... thank you... I'll just... read this" in a serious voice and I fucking snorted GOD DAMN IT I PUT THEIR FUCKING FOOD DOWN AND NO ONE WAS TALKING SO THIS LIL SHIT FUCKING EXCLAIMS "WELL IT LOOKS DELICIOUS" I LOVE THIS FUCKING KID
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  • 25
    Vertebrate - t tastefullyoffensive Making new friends can be difficult. (photos by rubberdogturds)
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  • 26
    Text - remember that rumor we all believed in middle school that marilyn manson got the bottom half of his ribcage removed so he could blow himself?? What the fuck kinda middle school did you go to SCHOOL
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  • 27
    Text - little-red-lucy: my-raggedy-pond: cuntinued: Fun Fact: The average person would walk past a murderer about 36 times in their lifetime. I like how this is called a 'fun' fact. It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.
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  • 28
    Face - favourlte: rneerkat: if u wear cowboy clothes are ranch dressing
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  • 29
    Text - ESS Noxious Saucy Beast (2007) 1Three Point Three 4:21 St. PAete, Maro 4:33 E COPLETE PESS -1 This could be the last ad you ever see or hear Just Amother Waning The Press heyfunniest: I think Spotify just threatened to kill me??? Source: projectiledama... 243,463 notes
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  • 30
    Text - fartgallery: we must save the whales because without them we become one step closer to being the fattest species alive
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  • 31
    Text - oeus: *takes a free sample twice* i love robbery and fraud Source: eao 81,421 notes Mar 25th, 2016
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  • 32
    News - Look at this. They're holding hands. want them dead alittleworldofimagination me on valentines day #me #all the time 120,678 notes 11
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  • 33
    Text - shoresoftheshadowlands totally-... Source: daddyhole When you accidentally make a baby cry and you don't know what to do to get it to stop bloody-nips: Edit File View Transport Tracks Gener Ctri+Z Undo Wahwah 98,995 notes
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  • 34
    Text - maryammonster itmightpossibly... Source: youngbadwolf You are an Avenger You are permanently controlled by Loki but daefics youngbadwolf: "presses the button so hard she breaks her finger So you're Thor. 20,283 notes
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  • 35
    Text - A non-programmable calculator is permitted Crying is allowed but please do so quietly (it can be disruptive) Do not wipe tears on exam paper Fetal position is okay leakedinlondon: higher education
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  • 36
    White - godpenis may Follow July 18th 2016, 10:31:54 pm 14 minutes ago clowncare when u used to be an overachiever but now ur barely running on enough energy to function and u dont know how to cope Source: clowncare 280,280 notes
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  • 37
    Text - master-of-pocket-worlds: Me: *goes to bed super late and wakes up tired* Okay that's fair Me: "goes to bed right on time and wakes up tired* Okay I call bullshit Source: master-of-pocket-worlds #hilarious text posts #funny #lol #joke #jokes #funny text post #funny text posts 132,017 notes
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  • 38
    Text - jhenne-bean why did i have a customer that hole punched his credit card's chip out, because "he didn't want a chip", and then didn't understand why I couldn't process his transaction Source: jhenne-bean 129,671 notes
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  • 39
    Text - tomatomagica basic anime girl: "sigh* i'm not as pretty as my sister (.- ".) her sister: "has the exact same face and body* starteas her sister has the exact same face and body but she's got huge badonkadonks. I mean huge whooperproperdrs. im-not-a-crack-pot Just say boobs you dumbfuck asshole starteas imean huge wampeedamberfuckalongas
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  • 40
    Text - fake-vampire0223: dismisses: luxerry: is sand called sand because its in-between the sea and the land are leaves on a tree called leaves cause they leave the tree? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE Source: luxerry
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    Via PrincessAngelinaContessaLouisaFrancescaBananaFannaBoBesca3
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