Favorite

Teachers Share The Stupidest Answers They've Received On Exams

Someone on AskReddit asked for teachers to share the dumbest lot of answers they've ever received on exams. We almost appreciate the desperate effort that was put forth by these clueless students, who just wanted to take a hail mary shot at getting some points on an otherwise completely failed exam. 

Share
Tweet
Stumble
Pin It
Email
  • 1
    Text - hopbel 6h My dad once told me about one of his students complaining she missed a point because the topic of the question wasn't covered in class. The question? "Can you get pregnant from handshake?" He was teaching freshmen med students...
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 2
    Text - schnit123 9h College English professor here, though dumbest exam answer l ever saw came from one of my fellow TAs in a huge lecture hall film class back when I was still a grad student. For some unfathomable reason one of his students decided to answer the written final exam in the form of a poem that didn't begin to answer any of the exam questions nor did it reference any of the movies we watched in class (which you had to pick from for the answers) but instead just threw in references
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 3
    Text - irmari01 9h S 1 Award Just the other day, the question asked the learners to explain the myth in the passage. Answer? A myth is a female moth And I just sort of looked at this answer for a while before realising the extent of stupid answers.
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 4
    Text - Emotional_Security 9h My mum was a teacher, she was doing a geography quiz with year 7/8's (6/7th grade) one of the question's was "What was the biggest island until Australia was discovered" one kid answered "Trick question, Australia isn't real"
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 5
    Text - mad_max_rebo 7h I am in a 1-to-1 school (every student is issued an iPad), so I use a digital quiz that my students can type on. I can't remember what the question was, but I remember the student's answer. It was a pizza emoji.
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 6
    Text - Baggybajingo 10h I've had several pleading answers, saying they haven't got a clue but please can I give them some marks
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 7
    Text - Paulistic 6h S 1 Award Maths teacher here. The worst I've ever had was from a 16 year old who was asked to draw a pie chart. https://imgur.com/a/BecK9hO
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 8
    Text - (b) Complete the pie chart for the informat Wain Car
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 9
    Text - KJthe Thing 7h I can provide something stupid I did myself multiple times. Me and my friends had this 'meme' I guess, where the answer to every question we didn't know would either be 6, 42 or Jesus. One day we had a science exam which I didn't do anything for, so l said screw it and answered all questions with one of these 3 answers. Fun thing is that, for one question I filled in 42 and it was actually within the margin of (answer was 43) so l got one point for that, bumping my total gr
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 10
    Text - Ekotte 10h Obligatory not a teacher but, in A&P school, aircraft mechanic school there was a question on a test "how do you measure cable tension?" Regarding flight control cables from the cockpit to control surfaces. 1 student put down Ammeter.
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 11
    Text - RealisticDelusions77 10h Took a World Religions class in high school got a test question: What is the term for hostility and discrimination against Judaism? Response is "antisemitism" of course, but teacher in a tired voice said someone answered "Christianity"
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 12
    Text - ChunkyHamstrings 12h Im not a teacher, but I know someone who spelled their own name wrong on an exam
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 13
    Text - goklissa 8h Who is considered Americas founding father? George W Bush
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 14
    Text - The_Real_Tan-Bo 8h Also not a teacher but, In 7th grade I took a grammar test. It was 10 questions, 3 points apiece. I missed every question and forgot to put my name on the test. was given a -3/30
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 15
    Text - PlasmaPizzaSticks 11h Obligatory not a teacher, but before I had my history teacher (who liked to put funny answers on tests that were clearly wrong), she had put 'Apu Nahasapeemapetilon' among historical Babylonian figures on a test, and people actually picked the answer unironically. Studying is important folks. EDIT: Looking back, it may not have been Babylonian, but may have related to the huns or Mongols. Can't remember fully, but it was something within that vein.
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 16
    Text - VinnieMcVince 6h I was teaching AP environmental science. I had a kid in the class who really shouldn't have been, but it was the only science that fit into his schedule, and our counselors were morons. The test was about water management, and the question itself was about wastewater treatment, something like "Identify two materials which would be removed from wastewater by primary treatment." The kid, who was an 11th grader, said "Deepers and doo doo." We assume he meant diapers and fece
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 17
    Text - bit_better_today 10h Which planet in our solar system contains the highest concentration of toxic gas? Uranus
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 18
    Text - BBozovic 7h I had a friend who was really smart in College. He even did exercise courses in Game theory and contractlaw and economics. He had an exam, where he didn't study that much, but at the bottom he posted a picture of Gandalf with the text "you shall not pass". He was 100% sure he wouldn't pass, but got an A Imao. I've seen both his assignment and the grade, because I didn't believe him Imao
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 19
    Text - a-canadian-redittor 10h S 1 Award Not a teacher. One time I didn't study at all for a test. I left almost all the answers blank. The very last question was the only one I got marks for. The question was "What is a haiku? Please define and provide an example." My haiku was: I have failed this test I should have studied harder I hate myself man My teacher wrote "for sure!" and I got full marks. I studied for the rest of the tests that year.
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 20
    Text - Minigiant2709 7h I teach English as a Foreign language in China Learning about professions Model Answer: Q.What do you want to be? A. I want to be a Students Answer: I want to be a potato Edit: As people seem to be enjoying this In the same spoken test, another student mispronounced Vet; I want to be a pet
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 21
    Text - metheglen 9h Not a teacher, but my Dad was. He taught French Best translation ever from French to English (as part of a longer text, not just this sentence): Elle marcha le long de la rue avec un matelot barbu. She walked down the street with a bearded mattress. We can only imagine the look on the poor kid's face when they wrote that, trying desperately to figure out what the hell was going on... Mattress? MATTress? Wtf? But that's what it says!!! Matelas /= Matelot (Edit: missed an apost
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 22
    Text - NoClueDad 6h Iteach third grade. This was more funny than stupid. At least he tried. Fill in the blank section of a test about Michigan history. The question was "What is the oldest city in Michigan?" There were 3 blanks The student wrote "De Troy It" Correct answer was " Sault Ste. Marie".
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 23
    Text - footie_ruler 10h In India, one of my friends put, 'gai hamari maata hai, mujhko Kuch Nahin aata hai. Basically: cow is my mother, I don't know shit.
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 24
    Text - Eevee_190209h Not a teacher but I had to write an English test essay on our topic for the semester sadly though I forgot we had the test so I forgot all my notes. So for an hour straight I just wrote "I am a fish" over and over again. I somehow managed to convince my friend to write the same thing on her left over papers so that I wouldn't be the only stupid one.
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 25
    Text - Uusubworld 9h Got told this from one of my teachers. The teacher had to mark a history exam about world war 2, and one of the questions was about why hitler did what he did. I dont think she was prepared to see the answer of: "Hitler killed the jews because he didn't have enough money to buy regular meat, jews for some free meals." She also had to mark a maths exam and every student in the room wrote the wrong answer for a question. She was laughing for weeks after that when a kid wrote a
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 26
    Text - Virgilijus 8h Not on an exam, but an answer in class: Asked the class what is dangerous about a nuclear reactor exploding near a populated area. Kid's hand shoots up and I call on him: Is it because it makes sandwiches? All the other kids turn around and stare at him. I ask him to clarify and he sheepishly says 'I dunno, Sir... for a second I just thought that was the answer...
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 27
    Text - Little_Numbers 7h My geography teacher used to mark GCSE exam papers in the summer for a bit of extra money. He told us the dumbest thing was a paper some girl had taken and had not done very well in. He got to the last question, a 12 mark essay, and she's just written a list of all her friends and their current boyfriends... clearly she realised she was going to fail anyway and didn't want to put the effort in!
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 28
    Text - vdizzle20 10h Technically not an answer, but for the AP test (and possibly many other standardized tests) my classmate took advantage of the rule where the grader has to disregard anything the student crosses out with a single line. After finishing his essay for the AP US history exam, he wrote an elaborate story of a unicorn and it's essential role in the development of the US and crossed it out with a single line.
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 29
    Text - xjavelinx 6h not a teacher but my mother is. once she came back from her lunch break to find two of her students taking pictures of the exam key she immediately re wrote the exam and gave them both zeroes. Later one of the student's mothers calls and says she's suing because her daughter wouldn't be able to get into the university she wanted to if she bombed this test. before you ask ya I live in California
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 30
    Text - TrashBeetle 7h I'm not a teacher, but when I was at my old school and we were taking a science test, this question came up: why does the space shuttle have to have a tank containing oxygen? The teacher had already explained that there were NO ASTRONAUTS, and I got the answer right, but what did everyone else say? That there needs to be a tank containing oxygen so that the ASTRONAUTS could breathe!
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 31
    Text - ImmersingShadow 7h Not exactly an answer, nor a teacher myself. But I had a latin teacher in 11th and 12th grade who told us basically after each and every class test (and we were the high niveau curse) that she sadly has no time to teach us how to use a damn dictionary. Generally speaking the common errors in translation went like "this word has the same first four (or five or whatever) letters as that one [one being in the text, on in dictionary], I am just going to use this one, no mat
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 32
    Text - roseandmirrors 11h Not a teacher but I once write entire lyrics of "let it go" (frozen) in both english and my language. It seems like not that stupid if it's not very important exam. It was an exam that select students to go to international competition. I, being almost 14 at the time, got call out in front of entire hall in university. The professor scolded me that I waste very important opportunities plus waste the budget of government, and said that I was a reason that my country didn
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 33
    Text - Ranipla 10h Whoa, not a teacher, what a surprise! We were given a creative writing exam based on a prompt, in other words: someone gives you words and you have to make a story with that in mind. Our prompt was "The Bridge." One of my mates simply wrote down "The bridge, The end." Keep in mind this exam was a nationwide thing, so it was pretty damn important.
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 34
    Text - imconfused_ 7h I'm not a teacher. BUT. My class was learning word formation in English. And we had a worksheet about clipped words and we had to put the original word of the clipped words. My friend had a seatmate and we would exchange papers to check it and when going home, ( my friend was also my bus mate ) she told me that in one question it was pen ( the answer is penitentiary if you're wondering ) he put penis for it's original word. I mean, I didn't know it came from that word befor
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 35
    Text - Jenkem_of_the_Masses 6h Taught a Physical Science elective night class at a community college. It covered the basics of chemistry, physics, geology, and astronomy. There was a blurb in the text book about astrology so l took a few minutes of one lecture to go over how it's not scientific, it's only for entertainment, etc. I put an extra credit question on the final, something along the lines of "Explain why astrology isn't scientific." One person answers "It is scientific. It is useful in
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 36
    Text - wagonmaker85 5h Math teacher here. One question had a graph with a bunch of points on it, and students were asked to state the range of the graph. Except I teach in French, and the word for range is "image", which is also a translation for the English word image. Student connected the dots in whatever way they wanted, and the sketch they ended up with kind of looked like a snail. So, their answer to the range of the graph? "Un escargot"
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 37
    Text - Patatosaurus 6h Science teacher here. Funniest answer Q: name a good source of protein. A: platypus. Most stupid answer Q:why do you ear thunder after you see lighting? A:because sound travels slower than noise.
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • Advertisement
  • 38
    Text - b4rn5ey 5h Ex Primary school teacher (5-11 for non UK people) here. Science lesson based on the water cycle. Towards the end of the lesson a student asked if this how kettles make clouds under their kitchen worktops (obviously meant steam building up etc) This is where i fucked up. Rather than dismissing the concept and focusing on only the water cycle, Iresponded "kind of yes", before proceeding to explain the differences between that of the water cycle , and that of how steam is produce
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • 39
    Text - Cabra42 8h One time i was asked in an exam "name three important cities in the world", i wrote "madrid, japan, washington and wakanda"
    Pin It
    Via u/pvb456

  • About the Author

    mattstaff
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Share
Tweet
Stumble
Pin It
Email

Next on FAIL Blog

Stuff Rich People Buy That Everyone Else Hardly Even Thinks About
Comments - Click to show - Click to hide