‘I feel really disrespected. I’ve already gone above and beyond what was required of me’: Boss begs preschool teacher to stay past her contract, using guilt and emotional pleas while offering barely any extra reward

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  • My boss keeps begging me to stay longer after my contract ended. Am I wrong to feel taken advantage of?

    Frustrated preschool teacher standing in a colorful classroom with her hands raised in exasperation, overwhelmed by the chaos of toys and children’s drawings behind her
  • I (23F) work as a preschool teacher and I've been in this job for a year now.
  • My contract was supposed to end on October 31, 2025, and I had already informed my boss six months before that I wouldn't be extending it (which is what's written in the contract: and it's to report whether or not you're continuing after 6 months of working).
  • However, my boss cried and begged me to stay a bit longer until December, because she didn't want to shock the students with my sudden departure.
  • I do have to give you context here, our school isn't exactly a big school and it's much more of a tight-knit workplace.
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  • Everything is almost "family-like". In the end, I agreed out of guilt and pity, even though I wasn't offered anything significant in return.
  • There was a slight raise in bonus (every 4 kids you teach, you get the amount that is equivalent to a $6 bonus.
  • So, 8 kids = $12, etc.) but nothing more than that. Now that it's November, they're having trouble finding a replacement.
  • The candidates they interviewed can't start soon, and my boss once again got emotional and asked me to stay until January.
  • When I politely said no because I already have plans, she looked visibly upset and stressed, and even my manager joined in asking me to "please, at least stay until January." I feel really disrespected.
  • reschool teacher standing in a colorful classroom with eyes closed and hands in a meditation pose, trying to stay calm and centered amid the busy environment.
  • I've already gone above and beyond what was required of me, but it feels like they keep pushing boundaries because I'm young and accommodating.
  • They're not offering me anything in exchange, and I feel like I'm being emotionally manipulated to stay longer out of guilt.
  • At some point I thought, maybe I should negotiate with them, but I'm so clueless about all of this as this is my very first job and I already feel dispensable in the first place.
  • Trying to go, "Hey, I can continue, but is it alright if I [insert any sensible offers here]" already feels degrading enough.
  • Am I wrong to feel this way? What would you do in my position? Thanks in advance for any advice!
  • Comfortable-Fan1472 Girl LEAVE. This cycle will continue until the summer. Tell her you have a hard start date for a new job and leave. Tell her you have a vacation booked, anything. Leave and do not take on that manipulative emotional guilt. This is super common in education "just do it for the kids" but guess what. It's a job not a volunteer position. Bye. (Former educator here)
  • OP magicalapplepie You're so, so right. This cycle has been dragging on and it's honestly draining. I never really thought it would or could go that far like what you said, but I'm starting to see it. Genuinely needed to hear this, thank you for the advice. Helps a lot to hear it from someone who's been in education too.
  • Number-2-Sis I don't understand why you feel disrespected. They asked in oct... you said yes and stayed until Nov. They have asked again you said no. They can't take advantage of you without your consent. Just stick to your no.
  • OP magicalapplepie Yeah, you're right - I can definitely stick to my no. I think I wasn't exactly feeling 'disrespected' per se, it's just mentally exhausting more than anything and it made me wonder if I was just being dramatic or if it's completely understandable for me to feel this way. But thank you for the reminder, I needed that.
  • Careless-Treacle-616 Please one more month Please one more month Please one more month
  • OP magicalapplepie Exactly like that lol
  • Mapilean Tears are an easy manipulation tool. Just keep saying no, or you'll be stuck there till the end of the school year and beyond.
  • OP magicalapplepie It took me probably weeks just to notice this being some sort of manipulation, but I thought so too eventually. Even if I felt like she (my boss) did get emotional out of pure stress, she shouldn't have displayed such emotions to an employee. Who's... obviously going to feel bad for her. Which I did. I didn't know power dynamics can be hellish. I'll definitely take note of this, thank you.
  • taker223 Are you paid enough? I guess not, this explains why they cannot find your replacement
  • OP magicalapplepie I would say I'm thankfully paid well enough, considering it's a niche type of preschool (montessori-like) but the methods used in the curriculum itself are heavier than Montessori. It's not for everyone. That's why it's hard to find teachers. But then again, I applied for the job because it had that 'one year contract' criteria explicitly mentioned from the very beginning. Whether or not it's high-paying, I have other plans for the next year. It really is that simple (but it i
  • taker223 \> I feel really disrespected. I've already gone above and beyond what was required of me, but it feels like they keep pushing boundaries because I'm young and accommodating So who to blame here? What part of the process is essential? >!Look into the mirror and ask yourself why are you wasting your youth for a dime!<
  • OP magicalapplepie I get that, I think it's just been hard. Worded things pretty awkwardly here since English isn't my first language but hopefully you get the point
  • lostmindz yes, you are being dramatic... and so is your boss
  • OP magicalapplepie Well
  • Aloha-Eh Sure, for more money. Lots more money. Or move on.
  • Mapilean When your boss starts crying, they are trying to manipulate you. OP's not dramatic, their boss is.
  • throwRA094532 Just email them you have a starting date and they will have to do without you They are dragging their feet finding your replacement

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