Forty-Four Tantalizing Tweets We Loved This Week

  • 1
    Text - Bart @bartandsoul So if you say "can you be a bit fucking louder?" while you're watching tv and your wife is preparing dinner you get to eat at Subway 6:32 PM 11/11/19 Twitter for iPhone 60 Retweets 189 Likes
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  • 2
    Text - Megan Rebekah @_meggybread I'm fairly non-confrontational but there's been a few times arguing with others where I've felt the need to settle things outside. Preferably, in an acrobatic dance-off at a barn-raising with my six colour coordinated brothers 5:35 PM 11/12/19 Twitter Web App 160 Retweets 1,042 Likes
  • 3
    Text - no more mr wife guy @TheSocietyDude Hulu (no ads) $13 Netflix $12 HBO now/max - $15 Disney+ $7 Amazon Prime - $9 E-girl Premium Snapchats $2654 CBS All Access - $6 Total, $2716 a month for streaming and entertainment services Explain how this was supposed to save us money over cable? 4:54 PM 11/12/19 Twitter for iPhone 10.4K Retweets 71.5K Likes
  • 4
    Text - passmore @the_passmore some of y'all shouldn't be on Disney+ rn with that 2.324 GPA 11:00 PM 11/12/19 Twitter Web App 2,444 Retwe ets 14.5K Likes
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  • 5
    Text - and 51 others sam @friendoftoads imiss the fatherly security that the dog in charge of the Webkinz Curio Shop provided me with CURIO SHOP Arte's Rare Collectables GO SHOPPING ASK ABOUT SALES W ASK ABOUT RARE RARE ITEMS TIPS GEM HUNT Gem Hunl 11:30 AM 11/13/19 Twitter Web App 457 Retweets 2,161 Likes
  • 6
    Text - big structural bin laden @argumentwinner dont let them do him like they did epstein @DailyMirror 2d Daily Mirror Shelter cat put in solitary confinement for 'repeatedly' letting other cats out 8:09 AM 11/12/19 Twitter for iPhone 419 Retweets 3,480 Likes
  • 7
    Text - Kyle @KylePlantEmoji I feel like there's a significant number of people who learned they were bi because of the spy kids parents 9:58 PM 11/12/19 Twitter for Android 330 Retweets 3,815 Likes
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  • 8
    Product - Going off the rails on the gravy train @moonpolysoft we're in a golden age of film Star Wars Marvel Pixar 12:54 AM 11/13/19 Twitter Web App 2,039 Retweets 10.2K Likes
  • 9
    Text - erin @enetolicky1 yall are telling me that disney is making a series based on a movie they made that is a musical but in the series the same highschool from the movie is doing High School Musical: The Musical which is the musical based on the movie???? 66% 10:21 Ghigh school musical the series More movies and shows > High School Musical: The Musical: The Series + Follow American web television series OVERVIEW CAST NEWS WATCH SHOW TRAILERS & CL
  • 10
    Advertising - Taye IG: Tayeakira @TayeAkira That glass is to protect y'all not the employees. Popeyes employees been whooping people ass all week 1()@yelenarangel8 1d popeyes think they the damn bank SURF TURF MEAL DEALS $IGNATURE SIDES 12P 2-10 BEVERAGES 12:24 AM 13 Nov 19 Twitter for iPhone 46.1K Retweets 174K Likes
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  • 11
    Text - ryan @ryanyeetz PLose HeLP Feed My my thing oncei turn 40 is gonna be making every kid under the age of 15 call me coach. for absolutely no reason 9:12 PM 11/13/19 Mobile Web (M2) 601 Retweets 7,770 Likes
  • 12
    Text - average joe @jazz_inmypants i don't know who needs to hear this but u don't love disney u just haven't been happy since u were 11 9:47 PM 11/13/19 Twitter for iPhone 7,764 Retweets 54.1K Likes
  • 13
    Text - Dumps Like a Truck Truck Truck @Burlesque_lves ATTENTION: My accounting professor is fucking hot. Great. Now I'm going to have to be pretty AND smart on Wednesdays. Fuck. 7:41 PM 11/13/19 Twitter for Android 17 Retweets 94 Likes
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  • 14
    Face - CeciATL @CeciATL my daughter called me in her room to play hair salon and i came and she gonna say sit and wait bc there's 4 ppl in front of me ??? GIF
  • 15
    Text - Jack of all Bos, Master of Horse... @BoHorseManJack hygiene products for men be like: [21 in 1 HARDCORE SAUCE] shampoo conditioner face wash dish soap i four loko motor oil p cyanide enriched uranium 4:14 AM 11/13/19. Twitter for Android 11 Retweets 38 Likes
  • 16
    Font - Warren G. Farding @Echo_VIII honestly what the fuck lol IF I'M НОМОРНОВIC DOES THAT QUALIFY ME FOR HANDICAPPED PARK NG ?? 2016 OUCK AND COVER OAKLAND CA STYLE 69 Ever 11 11:46 AM 11/8/19 Twitter for Android 390 Retweets 4,999 Likes
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  • 17
    Text - TIMTM by FACEBOOK® @burgerdrome TWITTER, 2006: Join the conversation! Wow! Tell us what's on your mind! TWITTER, 2019: Your account was banned because you told the President of Turkey that his decision to commit genocide "sucks ass" 9:38 PM 11/12/19 TweetDeck 11.7K Retweets 56.1K Likes
  • 18
    Turban - Curtis Cook @Curtis_Cook They're selling Dave Chappelle's crackhead outfit at Banana Republic.
  • 19
    Text - the drake gatsby @DrakeGatsby First Mate: By God, we need to turn! It'll tear us apart! Cap'n Crunch: *steering directly into the roof of a mouth* Not if we tear it apart first 10:23 AM 11/11/19 Twitter for iPhone 331 Retweets 1,586 Likes
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  • 20
    Product - tobacco dad @tobaccodad The "adulting" shelf THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F CK ane 1II EVERY THING IS FICKED STOP SH*T DOING THAT get Pm the *CK your SHAT together End Self-Sabotage and own А ВOOK ABOUT HOPE GARY JOHN BISHOP A COUNTERINTUITiVE APPRCAC h knight TO LIVING A GOO0 LIFE MARK MANSON MARK MANSON YOU THE FOUR TENDENCIES BADASS MAKING MoNeY do you you GRETCHEN RUBIN JEn SINCERO YOU ARE A BADASS JORDAN B GAME 2:56 PM 11/9/19 Twitter for iPhone 758 Retweets 5,297 Likes f*k it F
  • 21
    Text - Erik Swann @SwannErik I've seen numerous sitcoms and all of the Marvel movies, but this has to be the weirdest crossover I've ever seen. @Complex 2h COM PComplex Kanye West is bringing Sunday Service to Joel Osteen's church in Houston: 10:49 AM 11/12/19 Twitter Web App
  • 22
    Text - Chad Loder @chadloder My son just OK Boomer'd me. Bitch I'm Gen X, I will put you in a facial recognition database and drown you in student loan debt 12:50 PM 11/12/19 Twitter for iPhone 1,622 Retweets 10.7K Likes
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  • 23
    Text - rob @robwhisman gotta admit, the billionaire lifestyle looks dope. a reminder to work hard and spend, back to this delicious carrot on a string dangling in front of me 1:16 PM 11/10/19 Twitter for iPhone 2,372 Retweets 18.9K Likes
  • 24
    Property - kelbin @pissboymcgee hi yes quick question about the apartment. why is it in a church Buffalo NY Apartments For Rent 612 results 58 minutes ago $825/mo 1 bd 1 ba 650 sqft 700 Parkside Ave APT 6, Buffalo, NY 14216 Apartment for rent
  • 25
    Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland Let's get married and have kids so instead of a lazy Saturday morning we can panic because a sports uniform didn't get put in the dryer.
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  • 26
    Text - @lukasbattle I'm sick of coffee I want whatever theater kids consumed that made them act like that at 8am 3:00 PM 11/11/19 Twitter for iPhone 41K Retweets 258K Likes @lukasbattle 1d And don't say it was coffee it wasn't 31 t137 2,793
  • 27
    Text - mimi @mimithemama a girl from my due date group on fb is having a c-section on december 25th and wants to name her daughter "krissmiss dae... she asked for opinions or other holiday name ideas and i suggested noelle or ivy... and she replied "eh idk those are kinda weird sounding" 12:52 PM 11/11/19 Twitter for iPhone 56.2K Retweets 505K Likes
  • 28
    Text - Mathieu Ajan @MathieuAjan If Sonic The Hedgehog can turn his life around in less than a year. So can you.
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  • 29
    Text - Ben @recan_t getting this out there early All I Want for Christmas is a Latina Girlfriend Wishlisx Email Marc: OCBS 2040 11:05 AM 11/12/19 Twitter for iPhone 363 Retweets 1,891 Likes
  • 30
    Text - My spacesHup? THIS Ls a dodge @BarkyBoogz "They been killing our brothers and sisters for a SANDWICH. A GOTDAMN SANDWICH, mayne!" Omo lya Onidiri @JohnsonElu 3d Bomboclaat Show this thread SSOCTAN RANCH
  • 31
    Dog - BlackDoodPls @BlackDoodPls what's going on here? @skep ticals he got his thinking cat on
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  • 32
    Text - feminist next door @emrazz There is no single function machine more consistently terrible than a hand dryer. You have one job, and you sound like a jet engine taking off, yet l've never walked away with dry hands. 9:18 PM 11/6/19 Twitter for iPhone 491 Retweets 6,183 Likes
  • 33
    Text - megs @vodkalime birth control doesn't protect you completely!!!! i was on the pill in high school and my ex boyfriend stabbed me 5:27 PM 11/10/19 Twitter for iPhone 12.6K Retweets 95K Likes
  • 34
    DEADBEATS DETROIT Ryan @_supaflyry SOON In case you feel like slappin' the bag for the holidays with the fam 10:02 AM 11/13/19 Twitter for iPhone 2,107 Retweets 7,924 Likes
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  • 35
    Text - jeffBlue @jeff_crisanti if white claw doesn't make a peppermint flavored holiday seltzer and call it santa claws i will riot 5:12 PM 11/10/19 Twitter for iPhone 18.9K Retweets 103K Likes zb @buescher34.12h Replying to @jeff_crisanti Or just put santa on the front of the cans & call it santaclaws instead of drinking carbonated mouthwash 232
  • 36
    Text - Jesse, Queen of Thots @tinderdistrict Will never forget when my old roommate dramatically threw his phone down on the couch and I was like "what's wrong dude" and he goes "none of these girls on tinder are 10s, I need a 10!!!" and I had to remind him that he was unemployed and slept in a twin bed 1:18 PM 11/12/19 from Los Angeles, CA Twitter for iPhone 49 Retweets 1,208 Likes
  • 37
    Text - Hey Buddy Comics @HeyBuddyComics alien: how did you enslave your human dog: I did not alien: then why does he provide for your every need dog: because he loves me alien: but why does he love you dog: [wagging tail] because I love him
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  • 38
    Text - Erica @eerrriicaa Turning my text message read receipts back on because l need some of you to see that I'm honestly not ignoring you and the rest of you to see that lam 4:51 PM 11/4/19 Twitter for iPhone 1,188 Retweets 8,783 Likes
  • 39
    Text - Thomas Wesley @diplo someone i follow on IG just got there wedding pictures back Mute Posts Stories Instagram won't let them know you muted them. 8:43 PM 11/11/19 Twitter for iPhone 297 Retweets 2,830 Likes
  • 40
    Text - Pastor Wilson Jr. Follow @GrtValueBobby Who tryna #DisneyPlus and chill? GIF 8:57 AM 12 Nov 2019
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  • 41
    Text - Nathalie Antonia! @natsantonia writer friends. Just keep going. To my was rejected over 48 times before l got my 49th rejection 12:38 PM 11/11/19 Twitter for iPhone 7,646 Retweets 73.1K Likes Nathalie Antonia! @natsantonia 1d Replying to @natsantonia i just kept pestering them and pestering them until eventually they had no choice but to block me. t250 3 914 Nathalie Antonia! @natsantonia 1d for example one time i slept outside of this big agents office and that's how i got this huge scar
  • 42
    Text - Marf @MarfSalvador me: babe, i think we're ready to take this to the next level. here's a key, i want you to move in her: it says volvo on it 9:27 AM 11/12/19 Twitter for Android 98 Retweets 653 Likes
  • 43
    Text - Art Tavana @arttavana White women have a bizarre obsession with yoga of which l simply cannot relate as a nonwhite male. Hispanic, Middle Eastern, and black women-as far as can tell- are barely interested in yoga. White women are practically 99.9% of the yoga audience. I'm fascinated by imbalance. 3:02 PM 11/12/19 Twitter for iPhone 5 Retweets 41 Likes
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  • 44
    Text - Skoog @Skoog you guys... Why were the weasleys poor? like. magic. fucking magic. just massive idiots clearly. 10:21 PM 11/11/19 Twitter for iPhone 17 Retweets 208 Likes


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