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Me: I think I'm going to rent SAW 6. Mom: Oh good, I'm always in for a romantic comedy

Newspaper: Atheists know more about religion that believers. Mom (believer): Well, maybe that's ...

Aunt: Don't have sex before you get married because once you're married, you'll have to do it all...

(When I got a scarf for my birthday) Dad: It's the Aerosmith starter kit!

(DVD won't let her skip the Clash of the Titans preview) Mom: But I don't want to release the Kr...

If you see an attractive girl in a yellow dress it may not be a good idea to approach her by sayi...

If you suspect that something you ate might have given you diarrhea, do not eat more of it to see...

If you need a drink at night, just remember you put the cup down next to the cactus. #LFMF