Damoncord

After a blood test, when the nurse says "No heavy lifting for a day"...she means it. Having blood...

If you brush your teeth in the shower, be careful when you spit! Deep cleansing minty toothpaste...

Me (7 Year old): Mom, what if aliens landed in the back yard, ate all our food, and left? Dad: S...

Yup, that's a behemoth of a monster in front of you. Yeah, you're also playing on the highest dif...

Good idea: singing in the shower Ok idea: Clapping your hands to the beat of the song Bad idea:...

If you're reading Failbook and thinking 'none of these statuses are funny' you're not on Failbook...