DeadEyeDog

Sister just woke up from having her tonsils removed and started talking. Dad: Should she be talk...

Mom:(I had just come out to her as gay) Okay, that's fine, and I want you to know I still love yo...

Grandma: Look the bowling ally is for sale! Mom: Yes Lucy it is... Grandma: We should buy it! ...

(when I was 16) Grandma: You've been dating your boyfriend for a while... Have you talked to your...

Dad: We will always support you. No matter what. Unless they find a dead hooker in your car with ...

(Mom wakes up in the middle of the night screaming)Mom: SH*T I forgot something, sh*t, Sh*t!!! (s...

Me: My middle name is Allyn. A-l-l-y-n. My step mom: No. Its A-l-l-e-n. Me: I'm a girl. Its spe...

Mum: Don't ever get married. Me: OK. Mum: Or have children. It will ruin your life. Me: ...ok....

(My 3 year old brother won't leave me alone) Me: Mooooooooooom! Bro (Mocking me): Mooooooooooom...

While watching "The Departed"- My Dad: Well, what is he? Me: What is who? Dad: Well, is he goo...