G.A.Bariett

(My dad and I at home while the credits for Captain America start.) Dad:I really like this movie...

(While I'm getting ready for work.) Dad: Hey, did you get some coffee? I don't want your white c...

(Looking outside at lotus-type tree.) Me: Hey mom, what's the name of that tree in our front yar...

Mom: Hey, aren't you going to play "Leon"? Me: you mean "Resident Evil 4"? Mom: Sure, yeah Me:...

Me: Can you lay off with the questions a little. Mom: Well it's something I'm not used to, if i ...

Mom to me, as I head out for the evening: "Let me see what you're wearing, so I can describe y...

My mother (always very nasty when drunk): "You're the f**king spawn of Satan!" Me (rolling eyes)...

During the 1984 Olympics... Me: Mom, why are there two Germanys? Mom: Because when they're on...

Mom:oh no, we forgot to cover the trashcans before the penguins get in! Me: what? Mom: you know...