KissmeQuenley

Dad (after being 'hushed'): I do not obey the platypus of silence!

Mom : "Things were so much easier with your brothers. I didn't have to buy them boob doilies."

mom: (opens door, making the door hit a metal music stand. she screams) Oh....ok it's okay, i th...

(Discussing my trip to Costa Rica) Sister: Bring me back a monkey! Me: That's kind of illegal. ...

my boyfriends dad, while shooting the cat with a nerf gun :"dont scare the kitty, he won't lay an...

Me: I always wanted a pet moose. Mother: Go to Australia then. That's where all the meese come f...

(My friends grandma discussing her dyed black hair) Her Grandma: Are you going emu on me?

Dad: Chances are, by the time you're 50, you'll have been attacked by a goose.