MossfireTC

If you call the police by mistake and them hang up, don't call it again to say that you're sorry....

Beagles are, contrary to popular belief, rather smart dogs. It does not take them long to work ou...

When your mom calls you to quickly come look at the cat doing something cute, open your door and ...

I went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2 last night, and half way through the mo...

If you know your boyfriend has a severe family history of Bipolar disorder AND schizophrenia, do ...

You know that rule golf your Grandpa taught you? You know the one, if your drive doesn't get past...

Never give your girlfriend your phone to respond to a text message while you are driving. She wil...

Good idea: going to the pool with your friends Bad idea: staying there so long that your eyes tu...

When cleaning your daughter's bedroom and hastily removing the large pile of stuffed animals in t...

When you're seriously constipated and playing a video game with 32 people on an open microphone c...

Never refer to anything on a woman as "mannish." She will show you her "mannish" right hook. #LFMF

Never lay down on your couch and throw your 1 year old puppy playful in the air above your face. ...

If you own a cat who likes to eat the heads off of mice and then let them lie on the ground as a ...

Never, never EVER feed your dog the leftover crusts from your garlic bread. His farts will turn d...

When playing with a Nerf gun with your 2 year old daughter, after teaching her not to point it at...

The ice-cream truck will slow down for a running, screaming child. It will speed up if you are an...

When trying to convince you parents that you aren't drunk, "I'm 14, how could I even get alcohol!...