Spexlex

Mom: Today is May 4th and it is Star Wars day, do you know why that is? Me: I don't know know, w...

Mom: Why don't we go to Baskin Robins and get you an ice cream cake for your birthday? Me: What?...

Dad: *takes a bite of my eggs* Me: Dude, you just ate like half an egg! Dad: Oh, you'll get ovu...

(Showing my mom Justin Bieber for the first time) Me: So, what do you think? Mom: Does his baby...

(me and my friend are talking about car insurance) Dad: is anyone else getting a boner?

*Watching Walker, Texas Ranger with my mother* Mum: In Texas, there are no laws; there are only ...

(My buddy and me watching a talk show. One of the male show guests speaks about his experiences a...

(Me and my Mum walked into Kmart behind a gay couple holding hands.) Mum: Oh my God! Look at th...

(Mom upon opening her package of syringes she ordered for nursing purposes) Mom: Sweet, they got...

Me: Hey Dad, why did you and mom have me so late in your marriage? Dad: Well, 18 years ago, your...

Mom: I don't like birds. They don't have arms. I don't like anything without arms.

Dad: Our entire family seems to have prostate problems. I have it, your grandpa has it, his fathe...

(Dad hits rumble strips while driving.) Me: What are those for? dad: That's how blind people dr...

(Dad discussing if table center piece at the Japanese restaurant was edible or not.) Dad: At fir...

Sister (singing like the Black Eyed Peas): Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk ins...

Dad: Your mom has been feeling kinda old lately. Can you take her out, and show her a good time? ...

(Furniture shopping with my parents.) Mom: I like that this bed has a canopy... I'll have someth...

(Mom had left for a business trip and it was just dad and I by ourselves) Dad: So, you wanna get...

(Me and my mom were looking at a picture of the woman with the longest fingernails in the world.)...

Dad: I did alot of crazy things when I was a kid. Me: Like what? Dad: Well once I did a whole b...

(To my 3 year old niece who is pretending to be a baby doll's mother) Me: Josie, did that baby c...