SquishFace92

*My parents watching a dinosaur show* Mom: What are those things on its head? Dad: I don't know...

Mom: What's in the wine glass? Me: Wine. Mom: It's 1pm! My little lush! I'm so proud!

(before going to the pool with a friend) Dad: by mags! remember the buddy rule! Me:what's the b...

(At a restaurant) Uncle jokingly to my disabled Grandma while being seated: Hurry up you old cri...

When your husband gets out of the shower and starts to do a little dance get out of the way becau...

A very cute deaf girl was hired at my local video store a few months ago, she dosent have a heari...

If your mom asks "What is 'headbanging'", don't show her in the bathroom. The sink is hard and th...

This time last year I weighed 396lb and was living a pretty rubbish life. Now, after a year of ca...