SquishFace92

(Me and my Dad talking about car crashes.) Dad: Only your mother has hit unmoving objects. Me: ...

Mom: How do these people get in the magazine if they've only lost 15 pounds? It's stupid. Mom's ...

(Before getting in the car one night.) Dad: Oh, wait, I have to go back inside. Mom: What'd you...

Dad: Did you hear? Disney just bought out Marvel! Me: That sucks, now they will just wimpy down ...

Grandpa: Senility is great! I'm always meeting new people!

(While watching a horror movie) Grandma: I hate to be the kind of person that reads Playboy for ...

G-ma: (Opens door) Get up! Me: I'm sleeping, go away. G-ma: Too bad! Get up or I'm feeding you ...

Friend: I thought to much salt was bad for you. Grandpa: Life is bad for you. Incurable, sexuall...

When travelling around europe you become used to being invisible and being able to say what you w...

(Talking about a baseball player & watching a game) Mom: that boy needs food, he looks like a ch...

*My Gradnmother, looking for attention after walking into a room where I'm watching a film with m...

when you're jumping on your kingsized trampoline your sis got for her birthday, DO NOT DO SO AFTE...

(A new Sonic just opened up in town) Uncle: We got Sonic's! Hells yeah! Me: Cool! Uncle: I am ...

Dad: Drugs are too expensive for you to ever do. Me: Ok.... Dad: No seriously! Tobacco and alco...