XxXxKatieLouxXxX

*thump and shout from the living room* Me: What? Mum's Boyfriend: (covering face) I just bloody...

As my mom is talking to some religious people in the doorway, she yells into the living room: "Ho...

12th Grade Teacher: I wonder why they call a woman's private parts her 'beaver'? Me (...

Driving in the car Me: Remember that one time you crashed into the tree? Dad: I didn't crash in...

*My friend and I were sitting in my room, playing video games when it starts storming after a lon...

When trying to convince you parents that you aren't drunk, "I'm 14, how could I even get alcohol!...

(In the car, Because of You comes on the radio) Dad: You know this song? Kelly Clarkson wrote it...

(At an IKEA looking for a bed, overhearing another family) Daughter: I like this one Mom:(shake...

Me: Mom, is it true that semen whitens teeth? Mom: Honey, if that were true, then my teeth would...

My dad's response when I told him that I was a vegetarian for the first time one Christmas (exten...

Me: Hey Mom, I learned how to say "breakfast" in Russian! Mom: Vodka?

Me: If A rhino and I were hanging over a cliff and you could only save one who would you save, M...

(While talking to my parents before a business trip to New Orleans) Mom: Don't forget to bring h...

(Dad trying to learn how to use his new Smartphone) Dad: THIS IS ALMOST AS FRUSTRATING AS LOSING ...

Mom: I remember when y'all were little, and I would put a blanket on the floor, and tell you it w...

My dad is on the phone with a telemarketer. Mid sentence, he cuts him off: "I'm terribly sorry, b...

Me: Mom I'm an atheist. Mom: It's alright if you're gay, I'll still love you

Me: Hey (Brother's name), check out what I posted on Failblog. Brother: No, I don't need to see ...

*Me and my mom are watching a documentary about women's prisons* Mom: Hey! I've been there! That...

(My brother had just come out, and i was explaining to my younger brothers what it means to be ga...

(My gay friend, Josh, was on his way over to my house. My dad told me to make my bed, but I was b...

Mom: I want something to snack on... Dad: Well lets go in the bedroom! Me: Ewwwwwww Mom: I wan...

(My mother and I are in the car, total silence) Mom: (blurts out of no-where) OH SHIT YOUR BIRTH...

My mom on the phone to my dad: Screw the meeting and come home and screw me. Me: MOM O.O

(watching Wimbledon) Dad: Ooh look! Ron's in the royal box. Mum: (singing) Weasley is our king....