allybean242

(while driving through the forest) Mom: Ooh! Mayble we'll see a deer eating a salmon!

Grandma: So, have you been kissing any boys lately? Me: *nods* Grandma: Have you been swapping ...

Mom arrives home from the market: WE HAVE MORE JUNK FOOD THAN A POT FARM!

Dad: Did you hear about that concert? Me: No. Dad: Oh. I don't remember who was going to be in it.

Dad: Yah, I started getting anxiety attacks about... 20 years ago. Me: Dad... I'm 20 Dad: Yah q...

My mother: If you do that again, I'm going to sacrifice you on an altar.

(after finally convincing my mom to try some strong alcohol drink) *mom fills up to the end of t...

Me: Hi Mom, what are you up to? Mom: Oh, just spraying a syringe with Pam so that the plunger w...