greendaylolkat

Mom: who ate the bananas in the fridge?! Me: I did. Why? Mom: I was gonna make a pie with it! ...

(During an argument) Mum: Stop patronizing me! Dad (with a superior smirk): That's not even a w...

(My parents and I were playing Buzz Word and the word was Chip) Me: Striped Rodent Dad: Zebra!

Me: So I was thinking about buying a Prius... Mom: *Shrieks* Where did you learn such bad words?...

Dad to the cat: I won't let any walruses eat you now, will I? (We live in Nevada by the way)

Me- Hey! I got an A+ on my social studies test and a B on my math test! Mom- Good, you have to b...

Me (at breakfast one morning): You're officially allergic to life. You can't have soy milk, but y...

*lean on my mom* Me: Mom, I'm really tired. I didn't fall asleep until late last night. Mom: *s...

*while disscussing that i liked flat soda* dad: really? but it tastes like ass! me: no it doesn...

(talking about my dad's job as an engineer) Dad: I could have been a baker. It would've been so ...

(Asking if I can go to a water park with a boy a grade below me) Me: He said he'll pick me up, p...

(Talking about upcoming physical exam) Me: Dad you need to go. You need to get your prostate exa...

Mom: You know that band you played for me the other day? Wasn't their name Cutie Pie Lovehandles?...

Me: Dad, I need you to go out to the store tonight and buy me some pads. I'm in my period. Dad:...

TV: In a criminal justice system, sexually based crimes are considered especially heinous... Dad...

*14-year-old me with an inflammation of the eyelash* Me: This stye really is bugging me... Dad:...

Family Feud Host: Name a place where you might see a dead body. Mom: Next to Chuck Norris.

At dinner, i cant remember how we got onto the subject but.. Dad: I didn't get my uni degree in ...

Mom: I can't believe people call tomatoes fruits. They're obviously vegetables! Me: They're frui...

Mom always wants grandchildren (I'm 24). Mom: Hey when are you going to have kids? Me: Um... wh...