helinay's Favorites

  • A cat toy suction-cupped to your forehead will make your kids laugh. So will the enormous forehea...
  • When going for a night out, do not forget that red bull had caffeine in it, especially after havi...
  • No matter how badly you want sugar, it is not a good idea to break down into a sobbing wreck just...
  • When you're sick, before lying in bed, make sure you put the trash can by your bed. Otherwise, yo...
  • When your cell phone is red, and your apple is red, and both are sitting on the couch next to you...
  • Before you resign yourself to the idea that your eyesight is failing, clean your windshield. And...
  • Good idea: Buy a chainsaw to cut some nasty brush out of your yard. Bad idea: Buy a chainsaw to ...
  • If you're lacking in storage space and tend to store tampons along with your wrapped snacks and c...
  • When trying to get your girlfriend to partake in a certain sexual act, think twice before speakin...
  • Oh, that sleeping pill you just took? It isn't a sleeping pill, It's your sister's adderall, 90 m...
  • Before spending four hours reading through #LFMF, remember you have school tomorrow. #LFMF
  • Never watch a zombie movie, alone in the dark while drinking galons of soda. Your boyfriend will ...
  • Before going out in public, you should always check to see if you have an enormous hole in the bu...
  • When you girlfriend says she has no toilet paper, don't forget and stop by her house to use the b...
  • When you tell your girlfriend you can't afford to get her a Valentine's day gift, never tell her ...
  • Don't carry your lip balm and nasal inhaler in the same pocket if they have the same shape becaus...
  • If you have recently had ankle surgery and see an internal stitch hanging out the healing incisio...
  • Before buying your niece a book for her birthday from her favorite teens' author at least GLANCE ...
  • Don't assume that you're coordinated enough to run down the stairs while wearing tall, backless, ...
  • No matter what you think, taking a pee on an electric fence DOES shock you and leave you with an ...
  • When hearing the tornado siren go off right after you stepped out of the shower, don't run down t...
  • Never think "5 more minutes" after waking up to your alarm without setting another alarm. It's su...
  • If you wear baggy scrubs to work and you forgot to wear underwear, don't put heavy objects in you...
  • When waterproofing your girlfriend's new boots, make sure the can you reached for was, in fact, t...
  • When your plate shatters in the microwave, thus teaching you they are not microwavable safe, chan...

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