A cat toy suction-cupped to your forehead will make your kids laugh. So will the enormous forehea...
When going for a night out, do not forget that red bull had caffeine in it, especially after havi...
No matter how badly you want sugar, it is not a good idea to break down into a sobbing wreck just...
When you're sick, before lying in bed, make sure you put the trash can by your bed. Otherwise, yo...
When your cell phone is red, and your apple is red, and both are sitting on the couch next to you...
Before you resign yourself to the idea that your eyesight is failing, clean your windshield. And...
Good idea: Buy a chainsaw to cut some nasty brush out of your yard. Bad idea: Buy a chainsaw to ...
If you're lacking in storage space and tend to store tampons along with your wrapped snacks and c...
When trying to get your girlfriend to partake in a certain sexual act, think twice before speakin...
Oh, that sleeping pill you just took? It isn't a sleeping pill, It's your sister's adderall, 90 m...
Before spending four hours reading through #LFMF, remember you have school tomorrow. #LFMF
Never watch a zombie movie, alone in the dark while drinking galons of soda. Your boyfriend will ...
Before going out in public, you should always check to see if you have an enormous hole in the bu...
When you girlfriend says she has no toilet paper, don't forget and stop by her house to use the b...
When you tell your girlfriend you can't afford to get her a Valentine's day gift, never tell her ...
Don't carry your lip balm and nasal inhaler in the same pocket if they have the same shape becaus...
If you have recently had ankle surgery and see an internal stitch hanging out the healing incisio...
Before buying your niece a book for her birthday from her favorite teens' author at least GLANCE ...
Don't assume that you're coordinated enough to run down the stairs while wearing tall, backless, ...
No matter what you think, taking a pee on an electric fence DOES shock you and leave you with an ...
When hearing the tornado siren go off right after you stepped out of the shower, don't run down t...
Never think "5 more minutes" after waking up to your alarm without setting another alarm. It's su...
If you wear baggy scrubs to work and you forgot to wear underwear, don't put heavy objects in you...
When waterproofing your girlfriend's new boots, make sure the can you reached for was, in fact, t...
When your plate shatters in the microwave, thus teaching you they are not microwavable safe, chan...