juliester809

Got distracted by squirrel. Missed bus. #LFMF

No matter how good the new bubblegum air freshener smells in the bathroom at work, never walk up ...

If you catch the same firefly too many times, it may just decide to attack. #LFMF

If you decide to remodel by taking out the pillar in the middle of your living room, make sure it's not load bearing.

Never, ever date a stand-up comedian. When the two of you eventually break up, you are guaranteed to become a solid five minutes of blistering, bitter joke material.

LFMF is not a list of challenges, dares and suggestions. #LFMF

Never assume that coworkers understand that LOL stands for Laugh Out Loud. Some people think it stands for Lots Of Love. This can lead to gaining a crazed stalker

If you need to walk into another room to scream out of frustration, at least make sure there isn't a meeting going on in there first.

Don't fill a pinata with red candy that can melt, unless you like allot of crying children. #LFMF

Try not to sneeze when your mouth is full of mouthwash, especially when your cat is drinking from the faucet in the bathroom sink.

Do not tell your four-year-old she can get a chinchilla if she saves her allowance for it. At age 5 1/2 you will be handed a bag of money and be called out on your promise. #LFMF

For my fellow LFMFers who play the violin, DO NOT repeatedly tap your crappy bow on the floor half an hour before a performance because it will snap sooner or later. Usually later, about three minutes before the performance. #LFMF