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mother: Go outside and sled or something. Me: It's nighttime what if some creep rapes me? Mothe...

Me: So, one of the side effects of my new medicine is decreased sexual drive. Dad: that's not go...

(Jehovah Witnesses knock on the door) Mom: *answers door to be polite* Dad: HONEY! Come back! T...

Mom: Every time that I see a car driving with a mattress strapped on top I always think it's a pr...

Me: What did Dad want to name me? Mom: Stormy. But I told him no because, ya' know, the job opti...

Me: "No mom, still don't have a boyfriend." Mom: "Do you think that maybe you might be a lesbian...

My Brother: Should i teach my poke'mon protect? My mom: Is it going to have sex?

Me: How do I look? Dad: Like a low-end stripper.. Mom: If you're going for high-end, that's the...

Mom: Go outside and play with your friends, the Playstation will be here when you get back. Dad:...

(talking about things I want to do this summer) Me: I think I would like to try bungee jumping t...

Mom: Don't get one of those memory foam mattresses. They're great for sleeping but not for other...